#FOWC dumbfounded

https://fivedotoh.com/category/one-word-challenge/

“If we allow ourselves to stay amazed and astounded at the vibrant instants of every day and do not feel ashamed of admitting to being speechless or dumbfounded sometimes, we can uncover unsuspected sparkling gems hidden in the nooks crannies of our mind.( “Skyward, over and above”.)”
― Erik Pevernagie

She prefers ©
to rock and ramble more
than simply create a shamble
but notably tis better
She awkwardly amble for
her age dumbfoundedly defines
brilliant brutality
with if one does say
measurable mentality
but then one might ask
why even undertake
a ghoulish gamble
unless some one admits
who pissed on her pickles
there’ll be walker wars waged
till the truth is told
stopping this shocking
all out scrapping senior scramble

I was listening to another pissing contest among our politicians which led me to this ramble. *Laugh*

I think the word dumbfounded is another one of those compounds I love to ponder. Only this one seems to make sense. It is like finding dumb. Like finding you are at a loss for words (completely amazed and astonished). At that very moment I was officially and irrevocably dumbfounded. There was no way to for me to explain what had just happened.” ― J. W. Lord

I feel fantastic, bombastic, 
Ecstatically astounded
How a girl can really lose her brain
I feel surrounded, confounded
Emotionally dumbfounded
To think you've nearly won your game

https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/4599222/Robbie+Craig/Woman+Trouble+%5BFull+Length+Version%5D

Poetry and #30 day album challenge

The trees rustle under streams of moonlight.
Her husband’s snore louder than cracked branches
or furling waves shattering panes of glass.
Echoed declarations that she shelters
inside shrouds of comfortable silence
unwilling to break free of illusion.©

This poem was among the papers scratched out in pencil that I went through today in this decluttering mission. I had forgotten I had written it.

Day 29: The Next Album You’re Going to Listen To is the prompt from:

https://sandmanjazz.wordpress.com/2020/09/29/30-day-album-challenge-day-29/

My album choice came about because I was going through another box of papers. I uncovered my mother day letters that Amanda emailed while she was in college. They were summaries of her year from each Mother’s day to the next. I cried and laughed as I re-read those printed out emails from so very long ago. Which led to me to recalling her unusual entrance into this world and what was happening in our lives.

I had stage 4 cervical cancer and it had spread to my uterus. She was supposed to be delivered by c-section so they could remove everything at one time. Except, she decided to come earlier than her due date by eleven days. And when we were at the hospital, the doctor discovered she had flipped so her entrance was feet first. Her breech was kind of like a foreshadow of her life, she’s off and running once her feet hit the floor even forty years later.

Bet you’re trying to figure out what this album has to do with my story. My first husband, her dad was a huge fan of Waylon and wanted his daughter named Amanda. I agreed because knowing she was definitely going to be the light of my life.

She was indeed a force to be reckoned with our Amanda, with white blonde hair and blue eyes that sparkled like raindrops on a sunny day.

The letters I read earlier were also signed, the light of your life, always Amanda. That hasn’t changed much but than that’s always true of a youngest child in a parent’s eye much to the chagrin of the older siblings.

I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane.” Waylon Jennings

Amanda

Waylon Jennings

I’ve held it all inward, God knows, I’ve tried
But it’s an awful awakening in a country boy’s life
To look in the mirror in total surprise
At the hair on my shoulders and the age in my eyes

Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife
Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife

It’s a measure of people who don’t understand
The pleasures of life in a hillbilly band
I got my first guitar when I was fourteen
Well I finally made forty, still wearing jeans

Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife
Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Mcdill

Amanda lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Spirit Music Group, BMG Rights Management

“A mother is a daughter’s best friend.” – Unknown

Waylon Arnold Jennings was an American singer, songwriter, and musician. He is best known as one of the founding pioneers of the Outlaw Movement.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with one of the darker periods of Waylon’s life. It happened like this. “In 1958, Buddy Holly arranged Jennings’s first recording session, and hired him to play bass. Jennings gave up his seat on the ill-fated flight in 1959 that crashed and killed Holly, J. P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson and Ritchie Valens.

Before their performance at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, Holly chartered a four-seat Beechcraft Bonanza airplane from Dwyer Flying Service in Mason City, Iowa, for himself, Jennings, and Tommy Allsup, to avoid the long bus trip to their next venue in Moorhead, Minnesota. Following the Clear Lake show (which ended around midnight), Allsup lost a coin toss and gave up his seat on the charter plane to Ritchie Valens, while Jennings voluntarily gave up his seat to J. P. Richardson, known as The Big Bopper, who was suffering from the flu and complaining about how cold and uncomfortable the tour bus was for a man of his size.[30][31]

When Holly learned that his bandmates had given up their seats on the plane and had chosen to take the bus rather than fly, a friendly banter between Holly and Jennings ensued, and it would come back to haunt Jennings for decades to follow: Holly jokingly told Jennings, “Well, I hope your ol’ bus freezes up!” Jennings jokingly replied, “Well, I hope your ol’ plane crashes!

Later that morning, Jennings’s family heard on the radio that “Buddy Holly and his band had been killed.” After calling his family, Jennings called Sky Corbin at KLLL from Fargo to say that he hadn’t been aboard the plane.[34] The General Artists Corporation promised to pay for first-class tickets for Jennings and the band to attend Holly’s funeral in Lubbock in exchange for them playing that night in Moorhead.[35] After the first show, they were initially denied their payment by the venue, but after Jennings’s persistence, they were paid.[36] The flights were never paid,[37] and Jennings and Allsup continued the tour for two more weeks, featuring Jennings as the lead singer.[19] They were paid less than half of the original agreed salary, and upon returning to New York, Jennings put Holly’s guitar and amplifier in a locker in Grand Central Terminal and mailed the keys to Maria Elena Holly. Then, he returned to Lubbock.[38]

In the early 1960s, Jennings wrote and recorded “The Stage (Stars in Heaven)”, a tribute to Valens, the Big Bopper and Holly, as well as Eddie Cochran, a young musician who died in a road accident a year after the plane crash.

For decades afterward, Jennings repeatedly admitted that he felt responsible for the crash that killed Holly. This sense of guilt precipitated bouts of substance abuse through much of Jennings’s career. ” ~

Later that morning, Jennings’s family heard on the radio that “Buddy Holly and his band had been killed.” After calling his family, Jennings called Sky Corbin at KLLL from Fargo to say that he hadn’t been aboard the plane.[34] The General Artists Corporation promised to pay for first-class tickets for Jennings and the band to attend Holly’s funeral in Lubbock in exchange for them playing that night in Moorhead.[35] After the first show, they were initially denied their payment by the venue, but after Jennings’s persistence, they were paid.[36] The flights were never paid,[37] and Jennings and Allsup continued the tour for two more weeks, featuring Jennings as the lead singer.[19] They were paid less than half of the original agreed salary, and upon returning to New York, Jennings put Holly’s guitar and amplifier in a locker in Grand Central Terminal and mailed the keys to Maria Elena Holly. Then, he returned to Lubbock.[38]

In the early 1960s, Jennings wrote and recorded “The Stage (Stars in Heaven)”, a tribute to Valens, the Big Bopper and Holly, as well as Eddie Cochran, a young musician who died in a road accident a year after the plane crash.

For decades afterward, Jennings repeatedly admitted that he felt responsible for the crash that killed Holly. This sense of guilt precipitated bouts of substance abuse through much of Jennings’s career.” ~ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waylon_Jennings

Do you remember the Dukes of Hazzard? My son’s used to beg to stay up later on a school night to watch that show. Waylon was the narrator or balladeer as he liked to be called. Shortly after that time In the mid-1980s, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferson, Nelson, and Jennings formed a successful group called the Highwaymen.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the second woman to serve on the Supreme Court, will be the first woman to lie in state in the United States Capitol on Friday. The practice of paying tribute to distinguished public servants by having them lie in state at the Capitol dates to 1852 and is among the rarest of posthumous tributes for government officials in the United States.”

Women will only have true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation.” ~ Ginsburg

“It helps sometimes to be a little deaf (in marriage and in) every workplace, including the good job I have now.”~ Ginsburg

“This is something central to a woman’s life, to her dignity. It’s a decision that she must make for herself. And when government controls that decision for her, she’s being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for her own choices.” ~ Ginsburg

Thank you Ruth for all you did.

#FOWC incessant

https://fivedotoh.com/category/one-word-challenge/

(of something regarded as unpleasant) continuing without pause or interruption.

Consequences
Holding her beloved mirror in hand
the young woman studies her lost love.
Her smoldering eyes peering
barely hidden behind her lush lashes and
ruby red lips in a brief shy smile.
As she watches him with their son
walking hand in hand toward their home.
Her hand trembles slightly, a tear drop falls for
this living forever isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.
Yet the young woman thought she could handle it
never considering how desolate
eternity could be without her love, her child.
She sighs deeply knowing, another tear falls
In her heart, the choice was right
though the price was high.

The choice made at the time didn’t consider the incessant ramifications of living forever. I thought of how I would feel if the opportunity arose guaranteeing their health and happiness in exchange for my soul, could I do it as I wrote this Halloween poem. I know faced with assuring they’re healthy and happy once doesn’t stop… oh wait but they’ll be dead and I’m still living. That incessant detail isn’t forefront because we want the best for our loved ones.

“Incessant smiling is one of the deadly tools used by someone whose intent is to make others cry.”― Michael Bassey Johnson

“Writing is my passion, expression and an incessant obsession.”
― Pushpa Rana

#FOWC- Excuse

Today’s word is “excuse.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Excuse is defined as an attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify. Or a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.

I’m not going to offer either one. I’m not the easiest person to live with. I’m inherently stubborn and opinionated. For neither will I make an excuse. I’m who I am no more … no less. But I do have feelings.

In a conversation this afternoon, about a situation we have going on and I said jokingly to another friend that I would be the disrupter on our mutual friend’s team because he’s a manager after our email exchanges. Of what doesn’t really matter. I just know we don’t talk the same language outside of our love of writing. Anyway, the response back was, you would never be on his team. I agreed initially because the two men do seem to talk a language I don’t.

But as I mulled the conversation later, yeah, yeah,… we’re all guilty of mulling things afterward. His laize-faire comment hurt. No, I don’t function in the business arena but I have skills that neither of them are even aware nor has it been necessary to demonstrate my hidden talents anymore than I’ve asked either of them to demonstrate theirs. Here I go making a fucking excuse when I didn’t intend too.

Our connection is foremost writing and occasionally drinking together. We’re friends. And some times unintentional things are said that are upsetting. What he said did hurt. I’m also aware it wasn’t said to be hurtful either.

Truth be known….I truly wouldn’t have wanted to be on their team either in the business world. There’s way too much testosterone and we would have butt heads all the time.

My inner voice is right, if I had been crazy enough to seek working for him… I wouldn’t have been there long. I’m a damn independent thinker, and my days of worker bee mentality is gone.

But looking at the bigger picture, I’m also the person holding our group together. That’s the reality. I keep the dots connected. I’m very aware of their roles in the background and equally aware of my role in the foreground. My contributions aren’t light. Unfortunately, this covid crap has definitely impacted the group dynamics. I totally get how challenging it is to be online one in one more zoom meeting. I don’t do as many as them but I certainly spend a lot of time online with the different groups. It’s a matter of making a choice. It’s apparent to me the choice was made.

Today I’m reminded again of one of my favorite quotes “familiarity breeds contempt.” Did you know the English writer Geoffrey Chaucer was the first to use this expression back in 1300’s. It appeared in the Tale of Melibee.

It wasn’t my intent to turn this post into a rant either. I’m kicking the negativity to the curb.

#FOWC

https://fivedotoh.com/category/one-word-challenge/

Today’s word is “credibility.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Definition of credibility

1the quality or power of inspiring belief an account lacking in credibility.
2capacity for belief –Her account exceeds credibility.
Credibility in Verse©
Reflect, and embrace life
Imitation inspires our muse
Experience denies credibility
Resist change, seek familiarity
Intuition says go cautiously yet
Experience tempts adventure
Reality knocks on the door
Inspiration invites desire but
Experience seeks credibility
********************************************************
“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
― Judith Lewis Herman
In my first marriage, my husband took perverse pleasure in making sure no one would believe me because he couldn’t silence me.
************************************************************
“Integrity is more than truth and honesty; integrity is an unshackled mind, a happy heart, and a light spirit. Integrity is inner peace with a clear, clean conscience. Integrity is self-respect, honor, and credibility. Integrity is healthy and unfettering, and it is worth defending.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich
It took me a long time to reach this point where I’m truly happy and the shackles of the past have finally been tossed aside.

Virtual Continent Hopping Nouakchott

30DBC+Aug+2020

30 day here’s  a bit of interesting history.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nouakchott

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g293815-d10339182-Reviews-Nouakchott_Ho…

we’re doing a private tour today, looks like an interesting variety.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/AttractionProductReview-g293815-d14779091-Nouakchot_…

We’re writers and here’s a golden opportunity to see a famous library and a shipyard graveyard. Our muse should be inspired by one them to discuss. Maybe even both.

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-libraries-of-chinguetti-chinguetti-mauri…

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bay-of-nouadhibou-ship-graveyard

and our interesting dining choice.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g293815-d4022339-Reviews-Restauran…

Discuss what you enjoyed on the tour or the library, or the shipyard graveyard or even the restaurant. Maybe all of them. Have fun!

Our hotel is average but then it’s only for one night.
I’m inclined to agree with the reviews about the Mosque, the architecture is average nothing outstanding other than its size compared to other buildings in this location. I’m glad we moved onto the Galerie Zeinart. The textiles were colorful and quite pretty. I like that local artisans are preferred. I purchased a pair of earrings, I do enjoy colorful dangle earrings.
My overall opinion of this tour was it was a waste of my time except for the Galerie.

Day 2838: August 24 Nouakchott, Mauritania.
Prompt: Take a look at Nouakchott 2020 https://www.tripadvisor.com/Tourism-g293815-Nouakchott-Vacations.html and answer these questions: What is the best of Nouakchott? Why?

I’m glad we could choose the rest of our day because I moved on to Banc D Arguin. It’s a Mauritanian national park ideal for sighting the birds that migrate from northern Europe and Siberia. How cool is that? We discovered hundreds of birds and we saw dolphins too! The guide said, “this park is one of the most important zones in the world for nesting birds. In addition, This park is formed of sand dunes, areas of coastal swamps, small islands and shallow coastal waters. The austerity of the desert and the biodiversity of the marine area results in a land and seascape of exceptional contrasting natural value.” Lunch was delightful.

The guide told us Nouakchott was a mid size village of little importance until 1958, when it was chosen as the capital of the nascent nation of Mauritania. It was designed and built to accommodate 15,000 people, but drought and increasing desertification since the 1970s have displaced a vast number of Mauritanians who resettled in Nouakchott. “Nouakchott is largely flat and only a few meters above sea level. It is threatened by the sand dunes advancing from its eastern side which pose a daily problem.[8] There have been efforts to save particular areas, including work by Jean Meunier. Owing to the rapid build-up, the city is quite spread out, with few tall buildings. Most buildings are one-story. Nouakchott is built around a large tree-lined street, Avenue Gamal Abdel Nasser, which runs northeast through the city centre from the airport. It divides the city into two, with the residential areas in the north and the medina quarter, along with the kebbe, a shanty town formed due to the displacement of people from other areas by the desert.”~ wikipeida.

The interesting view of Mauritania’s Bay of Nouadhibou is spotted with rusting hulks in every direction, ships that were cheaper to illegally abandon in the harbor than to correctly dismantle. It seems that in spite of it all the rotting ships have produced a few surprising benefits. In addition to a continuing salvage industry that has sprung up around the wrecks, their deteriorating hulls have actually provided new habitats for fish and undersea life, giving the city’s vital fishing industry a much-needed shot in the arm. If only the ships could talk what a story they would tell.

I found the Library of Chinquetti overwhelming. I had no idea how many old documents were stored here. What to look at? Where do I begin? Today there are five such libraries left in Chinguetti containing some 1,300 Quranic manuscripts, as well as civil records including contracts, bills of sale, and legal judgments. The dry desert air and dedication of generations of custodians have helped preserve the fragile parchments, often rolled inside bamboo tubes. We learned the crumbling texts are gingerly inspected by scholars who still visit the site to study Islamic Law. Preservationists have attempted to relocate the collections or set up restoration programs locally, but the libraries’ private owners resist. UNESCO has awarded Chinguetti and other nearby ancient settlements World Heritage status, and efforts are being made to save the city and its libraries from neglect.

So much history… in the water and in the library. But I’m so thirsty especially with this dry heat.
Restaurant Al Fantasia is pretty inside but with all the heat of the day, I’m more thirsty than hungry. The pizza that Blue ordered sounded really good so I decided to get one as well. I felt bad for the waiter, as soon as he filled my glass I downed it and held my glass out again for a refill. I told him I was thirsty but I’m not sure his language skills were up to par. Anyway, I didn’t guzzle the second glass. Sandy and Petra looked tired as well. I didn’t see Neva, I wonder if she’s already headed up to bed. I’ll check at the front desk.
I’m glad we’re moving on this is location looked more appealing than it actually is or maybe it’s just the fact we’ve been traveling 24 days now. Tomorrow we’ll be in Marrakech,Morocco our last location in Africa before moving onto South America.

 

Mauritarian Proverb

To manage yourself, use your head; to manage others, use your heart.

#FDDA 22 writing matters a lot

https://fivedotoh.com/category/dog-days-of-august/

Today’s theme is “why writing matters to you.” Nearly everyone reading this post is a blogger. And, by definition, bloggers write posts that they share with others. Why do you do it? What do you like to write? What kinds of things do you write about? Fiction? Poetry? Current events? Personal stuff? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to share about why writing matters to you.

Writing helped/  helps me process life.  I tend to rely on my love of poetry for unbearable pain, it’s been my crutch and it’s cathartic for me.

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”― Anais Nin

When I received the face time call from the doctor with the results of the biopsy back in May, I turned to my blog to keep my sanity. Writing does that for me. Sometimes, we just can’t bottle up anymore personal stuff without losing it. I chose a song of the day to help others judge understand where my head was at. Like the song by Simon and Garfunkel writing helps me with the darkness. Words like raindrops need to fall .
PS. I’m still waiting for the last biopsies to come back. They’ve already scheduled my next endoscopic procedure so at least I’m on the calendar. Hopefully, covid won’t mess with the appointment.
Regrouping©
Shattered dreams, broken promises,
furious screams, hands over my ears… no more!
What to believe, trembling chin.
Something’s up his sleeve, I’m sure of it.
Wet, dull eyes, I grab the flimsy tissues.
Stop, don’t pacify… I twist my ring.
I study his empty stare, his relaxed posture.
He doesn’t care…he’s bored.
Shattered dreams, more broken promises
fatal blow to my self-esteem, I shrug, sigh
then rub my forearms. my stance rigid.
In-explicitly filled with alarms …his long exhale.
Life was directionless, nothing will be the same.
How did we get in this mess? My fragile voice quivers…
I pull my hair across my face …my eyes can’t look
Leave, I need space. His smile and nod said it all.
When I was struggling with a disastrous first marriage, poetry kept me sane. The poem above is one from that time. Some I have published, some I have ripped to shreds because the memories are just to painful. But what still holds true for me when I am really struggling writing poetry eases the pain that even blogging can’t touch.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou

#FOWC Design

Today’s word is “design.”

FOWC with Fandango — Design

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Sometimes, I follow a pattern as I did with my colorful mandela. Other times I simply start crocheting and decide as I go like I did in the upper corner with my healing shawl     ( grays, creme and pink) and with the baby blanket (powder blue and medium blue) that I’m trying to finish before the baby comes. (A first time Mom often comes before the due date so I’m feeling a bit under the gun.)

What I love about crocheting is the creativity to design, but I also see it as part of my witchcraft practice. The crocheting itself is not a form of magic, I’m not doing knot magic or anything like that although it can be done.Rather, I use crocheting as a way to connect with Venus as a part of my planetary magic practice. Venus, among other things, rules the arts and crafts, particularly women’s crafts like fiber arts. This makes crocheting a devotional, meditative act that I use to further my relationship with this planet. I do some of my best thinking while that crochet hook whirls along.

Gardening involves designs because that determines what can grow where and what purpose it will serve. It’s another way I make connections with Gaia or as some call her Mother Earth. I feel gardening enhances my connection to the natural world, this communion is important between a witch and her plants is an inherently magical practice. I feel it applies well beyond gardening. I have always had a strong connection with trees,  and water.  So every time I go for a walk or a hike, spend time dabbling my toes in the ocean I’m building on those connections by becoming more familiar with the plants and the other parts of nature that I utilize in my life, I’m engaging in witchcraft. I’m always learning. Not only am I  learning consciously about nature but I’m  building an energetic bond and rapport between myself and this natural entity.

I’m sorry. I realize it’s probably more than you ever wanted to know about Wicca or Paganism or witchcraft but both prompts fit perfectly with my life style choices.

Each of us is like a seed, planted by the good gardener so we might grow into something majestic.”

I have rail planters around my deck, larger pots on the lower level patio, and in the front of my home as well. (1st. is oregano, 2nd is kale, 3rd is basil) There’s nothing more enjoyable to me than to pick fresh veggies just before using them. No chemicals, not additives completely organic because I even compost my own soil. Ultimately my life’s design is to leave this world a better place than when I arrived.

 

“Gardens are a form of autobiography.” ― Sydney Eddison

“The earth is a man’s garden to tend.” ― Lailah Gifty Akita