Poetry and #30 day album challenge

The trees rustle under streams of moonlight.
Her husband’s snore louder than cracked branches
or furling waves shattering panes of glass.
Echoed declarations that she shelters
inside shrouds of comfortable silence
unwilling to break free of illusion.©

This poem was among the papers scratched out in pencil that I went through today in this decluttering mission. I had forgotten I had written it.

Day 29: The Next Album You’re Going to Listen To is the prompt from:


My album choice came about because I was going through another box of papers. I uncovered my mother day letters that Amanda emailed while she was in college. They were summaries of her year from each Mother’s day to the next. I cried and laughed as I re-read those printed out emails from so very long ago. Which led to me to recalling her unusual entrance into this world and what was happening in our lives.

I had stage 4 cervical cancer and it had spread to my uterus. She was supposed to be delivered by c-section so they could remove everything at one time. Except, she decided to come earlier than her due date by eleven days. And when we were at the hospital, the doctor discovered she had flipped so her entrance was feet first. Her breech was kind of like a foreshadow of her life, she’s off and running once her feet hit the floor even forty years later.

Bet you’re trying to figure out what this album has to do with my story. My first husband, her dad was a huge fan of Waylon and wanted his daughter named Amanda. I agreed because knowing she was definitely going to be the light of my life.

She was indeed a force to be reckoned with our Amanda, with white blonde hair and blue eyes that sparkled like raindrops on a sunny day.

The letters I read earlier were also signed, the light of your life, always Amanda. That hasn’t changed much but than that’s always true of a youngest child in a parent’s eye much to the chagrin of the older siblings.

I may be crazy, but it keeps me from going insane.” Waylon Jennings


Waylon Jennings

I’ve held it all inward, God knows, I’ve tried
But it’s an awful awakening in a country boy’s life
To look in the mirror in total surprise
At the hair on my shoulders and the age in my eyes

Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife
Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife

It’s a measure of people who don’t understand
The pleasures of life in a hillbilly band
I got my first guitar when I was fourteen
Well I finally made forty, still wearing jeans

Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife
Amanda, light of my life
Fate should have made you a gentleman’s wife

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Bob Mcdill

Amanda lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Spirit Music Group, BMG Rights Management

“A mother is a daughter’s best friend.” – Unknown

Waylon Arnold Jennings was an American singer, songwriter, and musician. He is best known as one of the founding pioneers of the Outlaw Movement.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with one of the darker periods of Waylon’s life. It happened like this. “In 1958, Buddy Holly arranged Jennings’s first recording session, and hired him to play bass. Jennings gave up his seat on the ill-fated flight in 1959 that crashed and killed Holly, J. P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson and Ritchie Valens.

Before their performance at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, Holly chartered a four-seat Beechcraft Bonanza airplane from Dwyer Flying Service in Mason City, Iowa, for himself, Jennings, and Tommy Allsup, to avoid the long bus trip to their next venue in Moorhead, Minnesota. Following the Clear Lake show (which ended around midnight), Allsup lost a coin toss and gave up his seat on the charter plane to Ritchie Valens, while Jennings voluntarily gave up his seat to J. P. Richardson, known as The Big Bopper, who was suffering from the flu and complaining about how cold and uncomfortable the tour bus was for a man of his size.[30][31]

When Holly learned that his bandmates had given up their seats on the plane and had chosen to take the bus rather than fly, a friendly banter between Holly and Jennings ensued, and it would come back to haunt Jennings for decades to follow: Holly jokingly told Jennings, “Well, I hope your ol’ bus freezes up!” Jennings jokingly replied, “Well, I hope your ol’ plane crashes!

Later that morning, Jennings’s family heard on the radio that “Buddy Holly and his band had been killed.” After calling his family, Jennings called Sky Corbin at KLLL from Fargo to say that he hadn’t been aboard the plane.[34] The General Artists Corporation promised to pay for first-class tickets for Jennings and the band to attend Holly’s funeral in Lubbock in exchange for them playing that night in Moorhead.[35] After the first show, they were initially denied their payment by the venue, but after Jennings’s persistence, they were paid.[36] The flights were never paid,[37] and Jennings and Allsup continued the tour for two more weeks, featuring Jennings as the lead singer.[19] They were paid less than half of the original agreed salary, and upon returning to New York, Jennings put Holly’s guitar and amplifier in a locker in Grand Central Terminal and mailed the keys to Maria Elena Holly. Then, he returned to Lubbock.[38]

In the early 1960s, Jennings wrote and recorded “The Stage (Stars in Heaven)”, a tribute to Valens, the Big Bopper and Holly, as well as Eddie Cochran, a young musician who died in a road accident a year after the plane crash.

For decades afterward, Jennings repeatedly admitted that he felt responsible for the crash that killed Holly. This sense of guilt precipitated bouts of substance abuse through much of Jennings’s career. ” ~

Later that morning, Jennings’s family heard on the radio that “Buddy Holly and his band had been killed.” After calling his family, Jennings called Sky Corbin at KLLL from Fargo to say that he hadn’t been aboard the plane.[34] The General Artists Corporation promised to pay for first-class tickets for Jennings and the band to attend Holly’s funeral in Lubbock in exchange for them playing that night in Moorhead.[35] After the first show, they were initially denied their payment by the venue, but after Jennings’s persistence, they were paid.[36] The flights were never paid,[37] and Jennings and Allsup continued the tour for two more weeks, featuring Jennings as the lead singer.[19] They were paid less than half of the original agreed salary, and upon returning to New York, Jennings put Holly’s guitar and amplifier in a locker in Grand Central Terminal and mailed the keys to Maria Elena Holly. Then, he returned to Lubbock.[38]

In the early 1960s, Jennings wrote and recorded “The Stage (Stars in Heaven)”, a tribute to Valens, the Big Bopper and Holly, as well as Eddie Cochran, a young musician who died in a road accident a year after the plane crash.

For decades afterward, Jennings repeatedly admitted that he felt responsible for the crash that killed Holly. This sense of guilt precipitated bouts of substance abuse through much of Jennings’s career.” ~ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waylon_Jennings

Do you remember the Dukes of Hazzard? My son’s used to beg to stay up later on a school night to watch that show. Waylon was the narrator or balladeer as he liked to be called. Shortly after that time In the mid-1980s, Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferson, Nelson, and Jennings formed a successful group called the Highwaymen.

Letter- c Finally!

I can have a brief reprieve. The doctor responded to my inquiry about the results in the portal at 7:29 pm. (The message is time stamped.)

The polyps are all benign. There are signs of stomach irritation but no tumors. Woohoo. So now we can relax a bit. I’m going to continue eating the cancer fighting diet with the one exception of coffee. I’m not giving up coffee. I enjoy it way too much to concede on that point.

I have the next scope in 3 months to double check the bile duct where they removed the cancerous growth but for now… I’m going to do a happy dance. Small victories are just as important as the big ones.

“There is nothing in this life that can destroy you but yourself. Bad things happen to everyone, but when they do, you can’t just fall apart and die. You have to fight back. If you don’t, you’re the one who loses in the end. But if you do keep going and fight back, you win.”― Alexandra Monir

Halloween poem, letter-c, recipe and other stuff

Memento, created by Emily Romano is a poem about a holiday or an anniversary, consisting of two stanzas as follows: the syllable count should be 8 beats for line one; 6 beats for line two; and two beats for line three. This is repeated twice for each stanza. The rhyme scheme is: a/b/c/a/b/c for each of the two stanzas.

Thought I would give one a try just for fun. And since Halloween is on my brain. I’ve been thinking a lot about our quandary to decorate or not. Do I expect trick or treaters? Probably, the same children in the neighborhood since they already run everywhere in our development. I’ve crossed paths numerous times and we always maintain social distance. I could simply set a filled dish on the steps for them. Some how I don’t see the trunk or treats at the school happening this year. The majority of our schools are distance learning.


Halloween, a ghoulish delight
goblins and fairies join
so glad
to partake in whatever fright
without flipping a coin
you cad!

“One need not be a chamber to be haunted. One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place.” ~ Emily Dickinson

Letter-c and custard

Three weeks have come and gone without a word from the doctor. Should I safely assume no news is good news on the biopsies done on the polyps? So I logged into the online portal that seems to be the methodology of the medical field these days, nothing was listed in my test results there either. Why is it so hard for communication channels to work as efficiently as their billing channel does?

Fall is approaching and with it comes the drying of herbs or freezing them for future use. I can’t freeze this year so I will be drying a slew to take with me.

I looked in the cupboard and I noted I have 8 cans of pumpkin on hand. I don’t feel like a pie or bread but then I remembered in the cancer fighting cookbook a recipe for pumpkin custard. Now that sounds divine.

Preheat oven 325

1 cup canned pumpkin, 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon of sea salt, and ground ginger, 1/4 teaspoon of ground cloves, allspice, nutmeg. 2 eggs, 2 tablespoons of maple syrup. She indicates dark is better. 1 tablespoon of molasses. 1 teaspoon of vanilla. I cup of organic milk or coconut milk. I didn’t have either so I used 1 cup of vanilla almond milk.

Combine pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger,cloves,allspice and nutmeg in large bowl. In a smaller bowl beat the eggs lightly, then add the maple syrup, molasses,vanilla, and milk. Blend together then whisk into pumpkin mixture until thoroughly combined.

Pour the mixture into 6 ramekins and place them inside a 13″x 9″ pan or whatever pan you have that has at least 3 inch sides so the water doesn’t spill when you put it and pull it from the oven. Add 2 inches of hot water around the ramekins and carefully transfer pan to oven. Bake 45 -55 minutes. Test with a knife to make sure it comes out clean. Serve warm or cold. So good! ❤ Your family will love you for it.

This recipe belongs to Rebecca Katz from the Cancer Fighting Kitchen.


“There are horrors beyond life’s edge that we do not suspect, and once in a while man’s evil prying calls them just within our range.~ H.P. Lovecraft

More violence and more covid-19

6,132,074 in the United States. deceased in the United States 186,173

confirmed cases: New Jersey: 192,973 Maine: 4,632 Virginia 124, 779, Nevada 70,474 , Massachusetts 129, 596

Looks like it’s safer still to live in Maine but unfortunately, they don’t have the medical I require available without long trips to Boston.




I’m inclined to stay inside and continue reading Roald Dahl’s Ghost Stories the outside world isn’t appealing to me. Maybe start a new crochet project so I’m not transporting it all with me.


For my final theme in this series, I’m going to ask you tell us what “your plans for September are.” Do you have any? If so, what are they? They can be anything, from posting more (or less) frequently on your blog, taking a trip, learning a new skill, getting married, engaged, or divorced, getting more exercise? Or are you just going to play it by ear? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to share about your plans for September.


September is all about selling and packing our stuff so we can move to the next part of our lives.  I’m still waiting on the results for the biopsies. That is really stressing me out. I hate not knowing answers. I prefer to know, plan and do. The next scope is in November to assess the bile duct situation. I know life has so many variables, but the unknown sometimes is worse than the known.

I’m also participating in a blogging challenge on WDC that I’m not hosting. The Virtual Continent Hopping is completed for this year. I have no idea what I’m going to do next year. We began these August virtual blogging adventures with a 2 week camping trip in Maine on Moosehead Lake. Then we decided to make it a month long experience. We backpacked across Europe staying in hostels and traveled by train only. The next year we flew from country to country in South America. The next year we went from concert venue to concert venue across the U.S.. And this year, well as you know we hopped from Antarctica. Australia, Asia, Africa, South America, Central America, and North America ending in Montreal Canada.

I definitely plan on working more on my vignettes and writing poetry.

Did I remember to tell you I finished the baby blanket for Kelsey, the girl in our local writing group? They’re having a boy in about 2 weeks, so I’m glad I finished before he arrived.  I’m very pleased with the results.

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What about you Fandago, what are your plans for September prompts? Dog days of September doesn’t have quite same ring as dog days of August. I want to thank you very much for all you do to make writing on wordpress more enjoyable. I do enjoy the prompts.


#FDDA 22 writing matters a lot


Today’s theme is “why writing matters to you.” Nearly everyone reading this post is a blogger. And, by definition, bloggers write posts that they share with others. Why do you do it? What do you like to write? What kinds of things do you write about? Fiction? Poetry? Current events? Personal stuff? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to share about why writing matters to you.

Writing helped/  helps me process life.  I tend to rely on my love of poetry for unbearable pain, it’s been my crutch and it’s cathartic for me.

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”― Anais Nin

When I received the face time call from the doctor with the results of the biopsy back in May, I turned to my blog to keep my sanity. Writing does that for me. Sometimes, we just can’t bottle up anymore personal stuff without losing it. I chose a song of the day to help others judge understand where my head was at. Like the song by Simon and Garfunkel writing helps me with the darkness. Words like raindrops need to fall .
PS. I’m still waiting for the last biopsies to come back. They’ve already scheduled my next endoscopic procedure so at least I’m on the calendar. Hopefully, covid won’t mess with the appointment.
Shattered dreams, broken promises,
furious screams, hands over my ears… no more!
What to believe, trembling chin.
Something’s up his sleeve, I’m sure of it.
Wet, dull eyes, I grab the flimsy tissues.
Stop, don’t pacify… I twist my ring.
I study his empty stare, his relaxed posture.
He doesn’t care…he’s bored.
Shattered dreams, more broken promises
fatal blow to my self-esteem, I shrug, sigh
then rub my forearms. my stance rigid.
In-explicitly filled with alarms …his long exhale.
Life was directionless, nothing will be the same.
How did we get in this mess? My fragile voice quivers…
I pull my hair across my face …my eyes can’t look
Leave, I need space. His smile and nod said it all.
When I was struggling with a disastrous first marriage, poetry kept me sane. The poem above is one from that time. Some I have published, some I have ripped to shreds because the memories are just to painful. But what still holds true for me when I am really struggling writing poetry eases the pain that even blogging can’t touch.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou

#FDDA 17 Music & letter c

Today’s theme is “music.” You can talk about the kind of music you like to listen to or music you like to play. What genre of music do you prefer? Do you play an instrument? If so, which instrument?  Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to share about music.


I wish I was musically talented but I’m not. My taste in music is very eclectic as you’ve probably noticed with letter c posts and the song of the day. There are times when I just need to reconnect to my roots and this is what I listen too. It soothes me in ways other music does not.

I wrote a poem about an Irish Lass dancing to lively Celtic music.

Love of an Irish Lass©


He bowed his head in silence,
allowing his rattled breath to slow.

Closing his eyes, he could feel
the lively Celtic music flow.

He was swept away to days past,
Where her feet moved to and fro.

Oh wee lass, dance for me, I long to
see those ye’s rosy cheeks aglow.

Take me back to those days
Of hornpipes and tapping heel and toe.

Show me again those green Irish eyes
when you paused, and bowed ever so low.

He lowered his head in silence again
cherishing his memories of long ago.

The lovely Irish ballad faded quietly away
and with it the old man’s final deathblow.

“I think being a woman is like being Irish… Everyone says you’re important and nice, but you take second place all the time.” ― Iris Murdoch
Thankfully, we’re getting a delightful break from the Dog Days of August. It’s 80 day with a breeze and overnight it’s supposed to be 65 degrees. AHHH delightful sleeping temperatures with the windows open wide.
Letter-c side notes and cancer toolkit:
Even though my vitamin b12 level was quite low, the blood work did rule out Celiac so I don’t have that added complication. I get to take another supplement every day. Nothing is back yet about the biopsies so, I’ll stay with the no news is good news.
“Your battles inspired me – not the obvious material battles but those that were fought and won behind your forehead.”
― James Joyce
Hard to believe in 9 days I’ll be 64 years old, a lot wiser when it comes to eating a cancer deterrent diet which I’ve pretty much covered in the cancer toolkit except for these last few.
Strawberries are anti-inflammatory very much like raspberries.
Sweet potatoes and yams are anti-oxidants as well being helpful regulating blood sugar.
Swiss chard is anti-inflammatory and loaded with beta-carotene, fiber and vitamin a. It’s great for lowering blood pressure.

#FDDA-15 & #FOWC- Edifice



Today’s theme is “your hobby or hobbies.” Do you have a hobby? Do you collect things? Do you work on model airplanes? Do you whittle things from wood? Do you paint, take photographs, make pottery, create homemade greeting cards? Are you a Twitter troll? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to share about your hobby or hobbies.


This is my current crochet project for one of the writers who’s having a boy in about six weeks in our writing group. I’ve chosen sky blue and cobalt blue as the colors for him.  I enjoy crocheting in the evening before I go to bed. I prefer not having any electronics on so my mind can simply unwind.

I love making hats and infinity scarves, I’ve been thinking about opening an etsy store to sell my work but then I think about all the ones already out there and talk myself out of it again especially with all the people staying home. Crafting is a hot commodity.

I’ve crocheting since I was 12 years old, yup fifty two years. It’s not the first craft I learned but it’s one I’ve done the longest. My grandmother was left-handed so I learned everything left-handed then right. I wish I had continued doing both hands but I didn’t. It would have made it easier on my wrist being able to switch it up.

I take way too many photographs at least according to my kids. I have 4 external hard drives full of pictures and one that’s a quarter the way full. In addition to crocheting, and photography, I embroider, quilt, garden, cook, and from time to time even sew/make clothes from a pattern.

I collect seashells. I love going to the ocean and gather shells. All of my shells have beach where I collected them on the back. I told my grandchildren when I die they need to return the shells to the beaches as part of my memorial service. I would like them to do it together, spend time and remember all the times we went together.

When I go for walks I always grab a rock and add it to my flower garden. My flowers like having added visual stimulation.

My moon flowers are blooming right now. They smell so good. I love working with flowers, herbs, and veggies. There is nothing more soothing than having my hands in the dirt. I’ve shared my roses and lilies in other posts.

I forgot my song of the day in my letter-c post and stream of consciousness so I’m adding it to this post.I’m going with some James Brown, I Feel Good. I do feel good after the surgery. I’m a little leary about being to excited because they removed the malignant cells on Thursday. Part of me says never trust anything that feels too good. And the other part of me remembers this is the 4th time I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. I know doctors tend to be over cautious too. I’ll feel a bit more confident once the biopsies return from Thursday’s procedure.

Live in the moment and take each day for what it is. So here we are living in the moment until the next scope in three months.  Let’s get down with some James. Can’t you just feel that awesome beat ….


Today’s word is “edifice.”  Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

FOWC with Fandango — Edifice

One of the most popular edifice’s in NYC is the Empire State Building. It looks intimidating when I stand on the sidewalk but in the bigger picture , it’s simply one of many buildings filling our skyline. Yet most us of don’t think about it but the pyramids were actually the very first skyscapers. They may only be 481 feet high but each side covers 755 feet with only a two inch margin of error considering when they were built is amazing. I realize today’s structures are a lot bigger but they weren’t constructed in the same back breaking manner the pyramids were.  But then think about the fact the pyramid has 2 million blocks that equate to 6 million tons and it was done without all the equipment we have available now. Plus if you factor everything one pyramid equates to 16 Empire State Buildings.

I found the word edifice amusing Fandago because in my virtual continent hopping blog post we’re in Cairo today looking at the pyramids so it gave me the opportunity to share what I learned.

Now If I want to take the word edifice and use it another way. I could say the Unites State’s Capital was once considered the most impressive edifice but everything connected is now tarnished by the ignorance of this administration. I would name the responsible party  but even speaking his name is gagging to me. Our country is no longer a shining edifice to the world.  I think we need some more James ….


Stream of Consciousness


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “pro/con.” Talk about the pros and cons of anything. Enjoy!

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 15/2020

This week has certainly been interesting in so many ways. The pros of getting the covid swab done was I got the procedures I needed on this cancer journey in addition to some other procedures so I would be under anesthesia only once. That’s another pro.

The con of that was having to drink that nasty tasting gavilyte , the solution that cleanses your colon for the colonoscopy. I had my last one 13 years ago and it tastes just as nasty now as then. If more researchers had to drink it themselves, the taste would have improved.Taste testing 101 that would definitely be pro/con moment debating the flavor.

The next pro was the removal of the cancer area in my bile duct. Woohoo. The con is I’ll be monitored for another indefinite period of time. I know in the grand scale of things that’s a mild con versus a huge one but I truly dislike the medical system especially how it works and all the political undertones involved.

The pros of having a cancer toolkit are helping your body and your food intake work together.

Salmon is anti-inflammatory but there is controversary about it’s helpfulness.

Eat your salmon: study shows fatty fish aids in cancer prevention


Sea salt is an appetite stimulant unlike table salt that is stripped of minerals and has iodine added. Sea salt has calcium, magnesium and potassium. But there’s also the risk of having too much sodium in one’s diet.

Sea salt: A healthier salt?

Spinach is an anti-oxidant


Squash is also an anti-oxidant but it also helps regulate blood sugar.

Squash (Winter): Compounds Support the Immune System

I can’t think of any cons except if you have allergies which I do to iodine. If everything one eats needs to be moderation. A pro would be that all food consumption was awesome and one never gained weight. Con, I’m a dreamer.  What can I say, I’m guilty of enjoying food.


Virtual Continent Hopping, Agra India, letter-c update

We’re staying at the Grand Imperial while we’re in Agra, India

30 day:


Everyone says this is the gem of India, what are your thoughts?

We’re dining at Tea’se Me a recoomended place to see Agra at night from the roof top restaurant.

India borders seven countries. I knew it was large, I just didn’t think about the borders until now. My second thought is there’s a lot of huge buildings that once were castles or monasteries that are now tourist traps but there’s a voice in me that asks how could anyone build such a huge monstrosity while everyone lived in poverty around you. There’s no mistaking the reality of their caste system.
“The Taj Mahal is an ivory-white marble mausoleum on the southern bank of the river Yamuna in the Indian city of Agra. It was commissioned in 1632 by the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan (reigned from 1628 to 1658) to house the tomb of his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal; it also houses the tomb of Shah Jahan himself. “~ Wikipeida. All I can say looking at the huge building, I felt angry. I can’t believe the arrogance of the emperor.
Looking at it from an art perspective, it has exceptional architectural aspects because the Taj Mahal incorporated and expands on design traditions of Persian and earlier Mughal designs. I was fascinated with the outside exterior decorations of the Taj Mahal. They are among the finest in Mughal architecture. “As the surface area changes, the decorations are refined proportionally. The decorative elements were created by applying paint, stucco, stone inlays or carvings. In line with the Islamic prohibition against the use of anthropomorphic forms, the decorative elements can be grouped into either calligraphy, abstract forms or vegetative motifs. Throughout the complex are passages from the Qur’an that comprise some of the decorative elements. Recent scholarship suggests that Amanat Khan chose the passages”~ Wikipedia

I have to admit it was worth seeing but my tummy says time to move on.

I’m quite hungry after yesterday’s procedure. Many of you were unaware that since January I’ve had issues initially with the gallbladder, that was removed but the problems continued and a second procedure was done this time by an endoscope which discovered a gall stone blockage. They put a stent in hoping to allow the bile duct to heal because it was inflamed. They removed the stent 6 weeks later but the bile duct was still inflamed. They cleared the sludge and sent it for a biopsy. This came back cancerous. I had all the tests for the pancreas because pancreatic cancer runs in my family history. No mass in the pancreas or liver just the area in the bile duct. Yesterday, they removed that section of my bile duct that was cancerous and since was going to be under anesthesia recheck my esophagus ( I had cancer there already back in 2000) and do a colonoscopy too. So yeah, yesterday was a fun day. I will be under observation for quite some time but at least it is gone from my body. At least the doctor believes he successfully removed it all.

I had more energy yesterday than I do today. It is what it is. So I’m going to focus on some good food. My fellow bloggers mentioned a few chicken dishes … I wonder if they’re spicy I have to go easy right now.

Tea’ se Me odd name but we didn’t come for the name. I chose this location because it was near to the Taj Mahal and our stragglers could catch up easily. All the food was amazing, I ordered dal, tikka massala, naan and a few other items to share with the group. I decided to have a bottle of seltzer water. I so apologize for the burping. I didn’t expect to have left over gas after all the walking we did.

BCoF.. discuss the different types of entertainment that are popular in India. Is it different than what we’re used to and why? Would this type of entertainment work in the U.S. or the U.K. or where our friend Petra lives?


Wow, India has 22 recognized language and some of literature written is considered to be oldest in the world. With that said I noticed interesting music so I wandered outside. On my goodness there were people gathered aound listening to what I was told a Carnatic music concert. I hope my fellow bloggers hear this. It’s so busy here I’m having trouble finding their faces. I don’t want to yell out Petra, Sandra, Carly, Neva, Blue, and Judith where are you?

I don’t see people gathering like this in many parts of the states. Though I may be wrong. We have so many ignorant people that want all foreigners sent home. The music is very soothing to me and definitely different than my usual exposure. I’m a very eclectic listener and would add this to my collection in a heartbeat. I’m sure where Petra lives they would be more open than here in the states under this leadership that has encouraged the maggots to surface from the cracks. Knowing by what he has shown thus far, he would send his henchmen if people were gathered peacefully as he has done with #blacklives matter.

A beautiful group of young women began dancing what we were told is classical Indian dance. They seem to float in the air, their body movements are mesmerizing to watch with the lovely silks swaying.


The second act was examples of the Indian folk dances. Very interesting performance. They’re barefoot yet they bounced effortlessly across the floor.


Phew, I’m really tired even after taking three naps today. I just don’t have any energy.

#FDDA 11 and letter c day 80

Today’s theme is “your greatest fear.” Is it death? Disease? Ghosts? Someone? Something? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to share about your greatest fear.


Death has never frightened me. We begin dying the day we’re born.

“Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” dictionary. com

As a teenager in an alcoholic abusive home, I tried to take my life more than once, the first time with a knife but that action was driven more by frustration than actual desire to die. I was being punished for something I hadn’t done again so I drove the knife repeatedly into my arm in a rage. The second time was done seeking death, I took a slew of mother’s prescription drugs. I came close but ended up getting my stomach pumped in the nick of time.

As an adult I tried to shoot myself because I was tired of the physical and verbal abuse I suffered in my marriage. It’s a good thing I have lousy aim, or we wouldn’t be together now. But I do have a scar to remind me how desperate one can feel.

The First Time

He stood…
Like a pinless grenade
Reeking smell of alcohol

Rage stood…
A shocking verbal tirade
She was just the catch all

Power stood…
His fist like a fusillade
Struck just under her eyeball

She stood…
Stunned and afraid
Tears flowed like a waterfall

Betrayal stood…
Where once was a serenade
Now the silence, hung like an iron wall

These are the times my own hand was involved. I spent a very long time in counseling and  discovered another way to  express my frustration, anger and pain. Poetry gave me a voice.

My health issues involving cancer have frightened me but their not my greatest fear. I see them as inconveniences but they deserve no other recognition than that. I will not succumb to cancer. I’m too damn stubborn. Writing everyday has helped keep me focused.

I’ve helped my sons with their losses of their babies. Painful and heartbreaking but not fearful except for the night my eldest son tried to take his life after the death of his son. It’s not easy being a mom, helpless to ease your child’s pain let alone cope with your own pain because your grandchild is dead. Writing again gave my pain a voice.

I’ve talked with women my age and they fear living alone without their husbands. I love my husband but I don’t fear the time alone until we’re together again. I encouraged them to write before they’re in that situation.

It’s been difficult to really come up with something that meets the criteria for greatest fear because I’m okay with death it’s just a part of my generation’s journey. I do think about what if my mind vanishes because of Alzheimer’s disease but that would be no different than letting the letter c control my life. I can’t think of myself when there are greater concerns.

So, I’m going with global warming. I’m frightened , worried by how quickly the water is rising, and our environment is changing. We’re destroying our homes, our lives, our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren’s futures. I wish I knew how to stop it. It breaks my heart looking in their eyes knowing this earth is on a self destruct course we aren’t going to be able to fix.

Letter c and other medical.

Tomorrow is the blood work, Thursday is the procedures. Monday was supposed to be my nerve block for the migraines but now the appointment is moved to Wednesday. That’s probably my biggest personal gripe about covid, every appointment I’ve had since March has been rescheduled at least once, some two times. But compared to what has happened to other people, it’s not worth getting grumpy about. It is what it is. We’re all making sacrifices on a daily basis.

I chose Sunshine of My Life Earlier because of a good friend and mine and our poetry writing endeavors. I don’t know if you know the background but the group was struggling with writers block when one of the guys was looking out the window and commented it was just before dawn which led to the discussion on what he would rather be doing. Making love with his girl. From that simple conversation, the words flowed and the song rose to stardom.

My friend and I have those great conversations and some times that’s all I or he need, (s) the words come. When you have good friends, family and you’re loved and love in return than fear is simply part of life, how you face it is what truly matters.