Day 5 of 366- the lull between crazy

I updated my post about the shooting at Perry High School. The shooter was 17 years old. He wounded five and killed one. A sixth grader, a child one year older than my youngest grandchild. I can’t imagine how the parents and grandparents are coping with this senseless act of violence. Why did a 17 year have access to a shotgun and a small caliber pistol? Another moment of silence NRA?

I Iowa, gun buyers are required to present permits or undergo background checks. The minimum age to purchase a pistol is 21 and the minimum age for a rifle or shotgun is 18. Legally, he should have no access. So the question that keeps arising with the different school violence situations, why does a child have access to a weapon? Why are the adults involved facing criminal charges for endangering their child and other children? I’m sure there are other charges that could be used. There has to be changes made so parents who want to own guns take the responsibility seriously instead of thinking my child won’t do that.

The Northeast is bracing for the first major storm of 2024. If the weatherman is correct with its predictions, there is a second storm following right behind the initial storm. I used to live in the Northeast and along the Northeast corridor, I don’t miss shoveling or icy road conditions at all. Nor do I miss having to bundle up whenever I go outside.

I do miss how fresh the air smells after a snowstorm. I miss the trees blanketed with snow sparkling as the sun hits their branches. Neither occur where I am now in Las Vegas. I do get to see white capped mountains around us which sates me for now.

It’s 51 degrees here with winds coming from the Northwest at 20mph. That will make it feel cooler than it is. I’ll be fine in a sweatshirt and jeans. The mountain chains we see are Mount Charleston and Lee Canyon and Spring Mountain. They have snow right now and are expecting more Saturday night into Sunday. It’s only 28 degrees there right now.

Mount Charleston and Lee Canyon are still recovering from all the damage Hurricane Hilary caused back in the summer. A lot of the road work isn’t completed yet, so the transportation department is discouraging visitors. There is limited access to Lee Canyon Ski Resort but it’s driver beware…. the roads are one lane in some areas, and some are dirt only.

Speaking of outside one of my poems that I wrote appeared in my Facebook memories today.

The Doe and I by Lyn Crain

She glanced timidly

left and right

never letting me

out of her sight

Her soft brown eyes

lowered each time

I tried to lock hers

with mine

I think she hoped

I’d move a long

but I was drawn to her

like a lyric in a song

She looked terrified

teetering in place

like the moon trying

to outshine the sun in space.

One of my crafting passions is embroidery. I’ve shared pictures of crocheting and quilting in the past but never embroidery. I learned at a very young age from my grandmother. When I learned it was trendy to decorate your jeans by embroidering flowers and peace symbols. These days it’s trendier to wear your jeans with slashes exposing your skin. I’ve recently completed several holiday wall-hangings.

My latest project is a lap quilt for my neuro-surgeon who repaired my lumbar stenosis and neck stenosis. Yup, I had narrowed on both ends of my spine where previous injuries had occurred. The narrowed areas were crushing nerves and causing me discomfort. I’m happy to say the discomfort has gone in my lumbar area completely. The neck is being a bit stubborner and I’m going to PT to help it along. My doctor is also a pilot and is still involved in air rescue so I’m making him a block quilt with 12 different airplanes that I’m embroidering and then making the attic window quilt to finish the project.

I’ll share pictures of my work once I remember how to insert pictures. The changed format is taking me a bit to get used to.

Day 4 of 366

And the crazy continues at Perry Community School in Iowa at 7:37 am. The shooter, 17 yr. old Dylan Butler has died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A sixth grader was killed. Five other people were wounded by the shooter. Four victims were students, and the other victim was an administrator. Children should be safe in their schools not seeking places to hide so they don’t die. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first incidence of violence in schools. We’ve talked about changes, and some have been made but apparently not enough because children still have access to guns.

Which brings me to the topic I wanted to discuss. Lidia Yuknavitch challenges writers to be the fire in our society. We can’t continue with our American exceptionalism mentality. The more we tell stories, the more awareness we raise for the voices not heard like children that have died from senseless violence. In power displacements where children are ripped from their families and transported into situations where they are later objects for barter. Women and men are involved in sex trafficking of minors. There’s still uneasiness among the LGBTQ communities because people have homophobic fears. Women and children are still abused by their loved ones.

Poets and Writers January/February 2024 Pw.org pages 34-35 if you want to read more of the article.

Storytelling may not save lives but it will keep the fire burning for those faced with contradictions between the brutality of our society and the fissures of hope that occasionally surface. As a storyteller we bear witness to it all and hopefully find ways to ease suffering.

In Lake Luzerne, New York (one hour north of Albany) a library was adding a one-time event to their monthly line-up Drag Queen Story hour. Amanda Hoffman knew it was a controversial topic but had no idea what the repercussions would be. A bomb threat, board meeting that erupted into a fist fight, people calling each other fascists, predators and queers all took place which unfortunately forced the closing of the only library in town after 53 years of operation. This community became a battle ground for issues of inclusion, free speech and what exactly is the role of a tax-funded institution. The minister in this community took the situation further by pushing to keep perverted books away from children. Banning books have become a social norm.

Ursula K LeGuin says “You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. But you can be the revolution.” Yuknavitch and LeGuin aren’t suggesting we become perfect humans. We’re flawed because we will say the wrong thing or do the wrong time. It’s in our nature. But there’s nothing stopping us from trying again the next day to be a better human, a better co-existent because we’re not the only creatures on this planet. We’ve been the ethos of death and destruction too long.

In the conclusion of her article written in Poets and Writers she offers a writing exercise that I found thought provoking. “Draw courage From the Fire. Name one kind of fire within us, one that keeps us from despair and moves us toward courage in the world. Where did it come from, this internal fire? What experiences brought us to this fire? What shapes does the fire take? Where does this fire live in our body? What story is held there?” ~ Lidia Yuknavitch

My fire is domestic violence. Did I choose this fire? No, my first husband chose it for me with his physical and verbal assaults. What moved me forward was my children initially. Their safety was my primary concern until I could make the changes for us. There is truth in the saying always know where the devil is because the unknown will be your undoing.

I’ve written poetry for contests and published a book to raise awareness. But the fire didn’t just begin with my marital situation, unfortunately it was very much a part of childhood as well. I married not knowing this wasn’t a social norm. Sadly, there wasn’t the media coverage or the resources we have now. But unfortunately, even with the resources, the problem still exists for many women. Yes, it’s crazy that domestic violence exists in this country like it does in third world countries where women have less rights than here.

Harmonium by Lyn Crain

Tasting of bloodied blue interlude, she trembled
Caught in an eternal plot of frenzied cadence arouse.
Her treasured hot peace lyre symbol necklace
Baroque ripped, his alleged rights of the spouse.
His frozen touch, firm on her hymn alabaster neck
Gregorian chants the parody of marital vows.
Her classical breath screamed to simply die, ending it,
But his ballad rage wasn’t done, he only let her drowse.

I chose a musical twist for one of his assaults to encourage thought.

I wish I could say it’s a thing of my past but it’s not because it still impacts my thinking, my reactions to certain comments even a sudden movement. My brain and body are always aware of my surroundings. Sadly, that tool that helps me in other social situations. We live in a violent society, awareness is crucial. We’re never too old to change our thinking.

Like this morning, there were many police sirens near us. The pitches were different, so I knew it was more than one police car. I immediately locked the front door my daughter had recently exited, checked the other doors and then called her to make sure she was safe on the road going to work. I wouldn’t have called her a month ago but after a friend killed in a carjacking incident just over a mile away, I feel less secure than I did. I had become lax in my awareness of my surroundings. I won’t be less guarded again because the crime rate in this country is escalating as poverty and ignorance rises.

On a closing note, for today’s reminder of the craziness we live in. Where ever or whenever culture wars exist, there’s voices that want to fight it out to the death or destroy anything that might possibly offend someone. Unfortunately, once the fighting begins, we all lose.

New Beginnings aren’t likely for 2024 but there is a glimmer

Cooking resolutions are always on the list for New Year’s along with diets and exercise that last maybe a week or a month. If you’re a writer, then writing hits the list as well unless you’re like me. I don’t make yearly resolutions anymore. What I did do was make a promise to never lie to myself. I’m notorious for being blunt with family and friends. I don’t sugarcoat anything because to me that’s the best way to live in our society. Too many people already try to make things look better than they are, and which deludes the truth. Life is too short not to want anything less in my opinion. Paint the picture not a fantasy unless you’re writing fiction. 2024 is simply a different year with the same problems as last year. The truth will set you free and it will also hold you accountable.

I wish more people were accountable like the man or men that took a good man’s life two days after Christmas. The man was happily married with seven children. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ve watched the media coverage and the limited body cam coverage from the police department so many times. I’m not convinced he was shot by the carjacker. The carjacker had previously carjacked two other vehicles and didn’t hurt either one of them. In one of the carjacked vehicles was blood in the driver’s seat which implies the perpetrator was injured so that makes sense why the third vehicle he entered from the passenger side. He needed a driver and sadly that was our family friend. There were shots fired and Jerry’s body was shoved out of the vehicle. It’s still unclear whose bullet stole Jerry’s life. Will we ever know the truth? I don’t know.

What I do know is someone dies everyday as the result of violence. Our American society seems to thrive on violence. We used to place ourselves above other countries because we portrayed a safe and thriving economic picture. But reality like resolutions are simply lies we tell to make ourselves feel better. Yeah, I know I sound cynical. I am. I’m not wearing rose-colored glasses or any other of the famous cliches we use.

Our healthcare is over-priced. Our food costs have risen so the majority of people are facing hard choices like do I buy my medications or food. Will working two jobs be enough to cover basic living expenses? So many people exist trying to rob Peter to pay Paul and are scared that even that won’t be enough.

Homelessness is on the rise. Cities like Portland, Maine closed the shelters because of over-crowding and money so the people exist in camps that the police force to move regularly so the wealthier people don’t have to see. Portland, Maine isn’t the only place that is failing to solve the problem. Los Vegas, Los Angeles, NYC, Chicago etc are all facing the same issues. People can’t balance the basic costs to live.

I’m not sure my husband and I could if we were on our own. We share our home with my daughter and granddaughter and split the expenses. Gandhi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” We became part of the growing culture of families co-existing because that’s the new norm..

Change is inevitable but at what cost? The two-party system is a joke. The candidates running are owned by lobbyists and big pharma. Neither of them is being impacted by everyday price increases, they’re capitalizing on their profits. You’re either wealthy or poor in our country. I wonder what Einstein would think because he believed the measure of intelligence is the ability to change.

What I do know is Roy Bennett’s philosophy makes sense for everyone not just the wealthy or the poor.

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”

If you feel the need to still, make a resolution his philosophy is a good starting point and definitely a step in the right direction without setting yourself up for another failure.

Haiku Evolution

Perfection dismissed

Seeking new aspirations

Funerals in myth©️

My two haikus today evolved…

Invited to die

Depths by determined inches

Only stagnation ©️

…………….

Invited to die

Death by determined inches

Funerals in myth ©️

Breath

by Lyn Crain

A breath

A tree crashes shatters the window.

the ground shudders with its weight.

The storm rages… rips every fragile

fragment of nature to shreds.

A  life is born, fighting to live

in a desperate struggle for air.

An old life shudders  a frenzied surrender

death claims his last gasp.

A breath

What once was …

Motivation Monday

“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts. It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.”

I’ve been working on poetry forms again. The focus I find is helping me rethink my word usage in my book. Writers are guilty of using extra verbiage that doesn’t add to the story.

I decided to give a Fib aka Fibonacci for short a try because of its rigid structure.

Form: Fibonacci~ 8 Lines~ Syllabic Structure: 1/1/2/3/5/8/13/21

In mathematics, the Fibonacci numbers are the numbers in the following integer sequence, called the Fibonacci sequence, and characterized by the fact that every number after the first two is the sum of the two preceding. Fib is an experimental Western poetry form, bearing similarities to haiku, but based on the Fibonacci sequence. That is, the typical fib and one version of the contemporary Western haiku both follow a strict structure. The typical fib is a six line, 20 syllable poem with a syllable count by line of 1/1/2/3/5/8 – with as many syllables per line as the line’s corresponding place in the Fibonacci sequence; the specific form of contemporary Western haiku uses three (or fewer) lines of no more than 17 syllables in total. The only restriction on a Fib is that the syllable count follows the Fibonacci sequence.

 

Barriers Aside

I

need
freedom
to take steps.
A bold move beyond
the usual path love follows.
I want no boundaries, no rules to confine my heart.
I wonder if you are the one to join me on this elusive passion-filled journey.

 

 

 

Getting Myself Prepped for NaNoWriMo

There are so many things to establish in the background to assure continuity in a book that hadn’t crossed my mind until I began this undertaking. It made me appreciate all the authors I’ve read in my lifetime. Wow!

I feel reasonably comfortable with my conflicts and my protagonist. I have several minor antagonists and one major one who will definitely make his handsome presence known. Putting pictures on my character trait list did help. I found looking at them and imagining how they would handle different complications enjoyable. Yesterday, I worked on my antagonist, oh he’s  handsome and dangerous. I looked at a lot of pictures of men before deciding I really like how Patrick Dempsey looked in all black, I could easily see him as my Thanatos.Thanatos1

Now, I’m working on an outline I’ll be comfortable working with over the next month. Who knew there would be so many different types– Snowflake, 3-point,  5-point, 8-points, traditional bullet point, Vogler’s, Campbell’s, pure summary, skeletal outlining, flashlight outlining, free writing, visual mapping, contextual prepping and of course all the different software for outlining. Yikes, it’s confusing.

I’ve been reading Vogler’s Writer’s Journey and Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces. Some days I feel like I read more than I write because it’s all part of the process of fine tuning my craft. And naturally, everyone has a different take on successful writing techniques.

My setting was pretty easy I’ve created a fictional town in Maine called Bayhollow, the next town over is a college town called Stone Lake with a university called Kampden University. There’s an active military base about 10 miles away in a town called Deadzone. All of these locations are very near the Canadian border.

On WDC they have prep challenge which thus far has kept me to the task which I’m finding helpful because it’s all new to me. Also, there’s the lingering dread 50,000 words hovering too. I find comfort in seeing familiar names pledged to do NaNoWriMo. Misery does love company.

I was reading Theresa’s blog this morning and thinking about how I overcome writing challenges. My go to is my camera when nothing else works. There is something about looking through the portal of small space that makes my muse happy. My perspective is different and very targeted.

The other day while I was creating my setting I had been gathering all the logistics like population, restaurants, and businesses. (world building) I took a break and caught up on reading blogs. Yes, I’m guilty of reading and not always leaving comments. But in this instance, Theresa had drawn a fence on a white background with shading to give the impression of winter or even a sandy beach. I took it as winter in my mind and I saw my protagonist breaking down on a back road and trodding along this seemingly endless fence. The timing was perfect for my muse because it sparked another opportunity for frustration in what seems like mountains on her journey to better her life. Thank you Theresa.

Another way I open my mind to writing is cutting the newspaper into shreds, readable shreds. I grab random titles and move them around I create a poem or a line that fits perfectly in what I’m working on that may have never crossed my mind.

 

The first poem could easily be part of a conversation my protagonist has and the second could be a fearful moment added to the scene in the cemetery.  Muses work in interesting ways as Barber Adagio for Strings by the London Philharmonic Orchestra plays in the background.

I do enjoy having dark classical playing in the background. What can I say my muse is a bit twisted.

My compost bin enjoys all the snippets of paper when I’m done so everything has a purpose if you open yourself to the possibilities.

Spending time with Poe

“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.”

A Dream is one of the countless poems Poe has written, a poem that contains imagery, symbolism, and a profound theme that explains how a dream can cause hope as well as sorrow. My attraction to Poe has always been because of the dark topics he focused his work on. Last year I shared my very favorite Annabel Lee and also the Raven. Anyone that reads poetry is familiar with the Raven, it’s a classic. But if asked are they familiar with some of his other great poems probably not. I hope you enjoy reading some of his less known works as much as I do.

A Dream Within a Dream  by Edgar Allen Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow —
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand —
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep — while I weep!
O God! Can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”~Poe

In the first stanza, “In visions of the dark knight, I have dreamed of joy departed- But a waking dream of life and light, Hath left me broken-hearted.” Poe relates his feelings about his desire and the sorrow felt. Poe’s intention was to show how a dream may be the only hope you have, but it is only a lie in reality. Another example is “Ah! what is not a dream by day, To him whose eyes are cast… Hath cheered me as a lovely beam. Poe is talking to himself about his confusions and emotions when having a dream in the middle of a horrible life he is living in. He wrote the poem in his perspective, and we know this by the figurative language he used to show intimacy. The poem discusses motivation, anxiety, and the false hope you get when dreaming, only to wake up knowing it was never true. It is still very relatable today.
He uses literary devices such as metaphor, simile, personification, symbolism, imagery, and others to show a deeper understanding of dreams and the dynamic but deceitful images that they show us. These devices are fundamental to the development and creation and allow Poe to expand his ideas to a greater extent.

To One in Paradise by Edgar Allen Poe

Thou wast that all to me, love,
For which my soul did pine–
A green isle in the sea, love,
A fountain and a shrine,
All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers,
And all the flowers were mine.
Ah, dream too bright to last!
Ah, starry Hope! that didst arise
But to be overcast!
A voice from out the Future cries,
“On! on!”–but o’er the Past
(Dim gulf!) my spirit hovering lies
Mute, motionless, aghast!

For, alas! alas! with me
The light of Life is o’er!
“No more–no more–no more”–
(Such language holds the solemn sea
To the sands upon the shore)
Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree,
Or the stricken eagle soar!

And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy dark eye glances,
And where thy footstep gleams–
In what ethereal dances,
By what eternal streams!

Alas! for that accursed time
They bore thee o’er the billow,
From love to titled age and crime,
And an unholy pillow!
From me, and from our misty clime,
Where weeps the silver willow!

“We loved with a love that was more than love.”~Poe

Poe’s sad poem, To One in Paradise, deals with the loss of a significant other something most of us are familiar with or will be.  The narrator says that love between he and the lady was all he ever wanted. He compares the object of his affection to various tangible elements in life. He feels that the love he and the woman shared was too good to last; now his one, true love affair is over, fallen victim to the grave. He is so distraught that he assures the reader that even nature will echo his pain. He was a dead man walking, miserable and alone. In this, we see how the universal love and death theme applies.