Turn the page, I just want to be through this journey and on to the next one. I thought 2019 was horrific with Johnny getting killed and wanted 2020 to begin. I got what I asked for, it is a new year but not the one I hoped for either.  My thoughts wander the way they always do, as I try to focus on the positive… when and then what if… not this time. The thoughts are as fractured as the mug I didn’t mean to break.

In a feeble attempt to pick my mood up I danced last night with Bianco Brown’s the Git Up playing on U-Tube only to realize I am directionally challenged more than I once was. Damn it why can’t I remember which way is left and which is right. He’d sing go left and I’d go right. I’ve always had two left feet when it comes to dancing, don’t know why I expected last night to be any different. But at least I went from crying to laughing at myself.

I finished reading Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street. It’s a compilation of vignettes or snippets of the people in her life as a child. Through her eyes, we saw the different influences a young Latino girl faced. I enjoyed the abruptness of the book with each vignette not being more than two or three pages long. Some were even just a single page but the details described made you feel like you knew them too. I loved the one about each of her family’s hair texture. Cisneros simply titled the vignette Hairs. Her papa’s hair was like a broom, her hair was lazy, Carlo’s hair was thick, Nenny’s hair was smooth, Kiki’s hair was like fur but her Mama’s was like rosettes. Mama pinned her hair into pin curls everyday but her hair didn’t smell like roses instead it made her think of freshly baked bread. I loved each little tidbit she attached with the description. I thought about my own hair what would people say. In my childhood my hair hung straight like a limp dishrag not a wave any where. After chemo with my breast my hair returned wavy and coarser than it had been. Looking in the mirror right now I see hair that refuses to submit. Yup, that’s me.

I decided that writing 500 words was do able so I did while the house was so quiet as the sun rose on this day.

As I turned the pages this morning finishing the book, I thought about all of my own vignettes and how I could present them. I sat at looking at a new word document trying to decide what to call it the first thought came to mind was Turn the Page. Then I recalled Bob Seger did a song called Turn the Page and Metallica did an awesome cover as well. The saxophone intro is incredible.  I genuinely enjoy both versions.  Both are here in case you’re not familiar with them.

“Here I am, on the road again
There I am, up on the stage
Here I go, playin’ star again
There I go, turn the page”

The chorus fits the situation I’m in as well.  This c journey has me on a new road, I’m definitely in a stage and playing star again although I didn’t choose either place or role but I will turn the page.