I heard the chimes late last night or early morning when I had laid back down. Were you visiting Johnny?  I would like to believe it was you. It’s almost been a year since you died. Your parents are still struggling. I thought your Dad was doing better than your Mom but I’m not sure anymore. He’s drinking again and been sarcastic now a couple times to me. I don’t know if its because we’re closer to your one year anniversary or it’s because I have cancer. It’s always been a challenge to understand your Dad.

I had the MRI yesterday, it was uncomfortable and noisy. I hate having anything close to my face. This tube was narrower than some I’ve been inside. Lucky me, they had issues with the music set-up so I got to hear nothing but the rapping of the machine. The headphones didn’t mute the noise enough to stop my migraine from spiking. I puked before I even left their facility. As soon as we got home, I took another pain pill and had a cup of squash soup and a turkey sandwich. Unfortunately,  I ended up with re flux. It was so annoying while trying to participate with my writing group. Thankfully, they couldn’t hear me burping  or see my discomfort until the Prilosec did its thing because we were watching the movie, Invisible Man over Zoom together. The writing and portrayal of the woman’s struggle to free herself from an abusive relationship was excellent. So many of the things she felt hit a chord with me. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do.

By the time I hit the sack, it was sheer exhaustion but I didn’t get to sleep through the night because my body decided it needed to upchuck all the nasty bile.

Thus far this morning, my coffee and a Poptart are staying down. I’m reluctant to eat anything else. Yeah, I am one of them who still loves Poptarts. My grandfather, Jonah , used to tell me that my love of Lucky Charms, Poptarts, Dill Pickles and Cheese would diminish as an adult because out taste buds change. Nope, I still enjoy them. Of my four favorites, cheese is the most challenging right now. Grandpa used to say eating all that cheese is going to bind you up. I have just the opposite because of the dairy, it rapidly goes through me now without the gall bladder. Fried food, fatty foods and dairy products, all require me to be very near a bathroom. Probably more than you wanted to know about a stranger but if you’re battling the letter-c this information is helpful because the meal navigation is important if one wants to have some normalcy in their lives.

It’s partly sunny here today, it’s only 75 degrees. I have some weeding and maybe if needed re -saturate the cotton balls with cinnamon and peppermint oil. Thus far the chipmunks have avoided the plants where I put the cotton balls. Woohoo!  Score 1 for me, 0 for the chipmunk. All the seedlings now that they’re not being dug up look pretty good. I can’t wait to pick cherry tomatoes and cucumbers off the vine.

It’s been years since I crocheted a shirt. I decided to work on that and the mandala in the evening. The shirt is easier to lug around than the mandala is. My nerve block is on Wednesday so it’s a perfect to go project. Busy hands keep me calm.

We’re having fish tacos for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward to dining on the deck with Vic and playing a couple games of cribbage. These temperatures are perfect for outside dining especially when the sun is hitting full stream on the stone siding. Once it gets up into the eighties and nineties, the stone makes it too hot to enjoy dinner on the deck.

Remember, the last time we were together, Johnny, we played cribbage on the hotel bed. You were so excited to beat us both. I can still see your beaming smile when you told your Dad, you won. I miss you hon. I chose Melissa Etheridge because you’re on my mind today.

“I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don’t know how far I’d go
To ease this precious ache
You don’t know how much I’d give

Or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you” ~ Melissa Etheridge