Time once again for #SoCS. Our host with the most, the lovely Linda G Hill writes and I rewrite “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “sharp.” Use it in any or all of its definitions. Have fun!

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 5/2020

Sharp as an adjective (of an object) having an edge or point that is able to cut or pierce something or producing a sudden, piercing physical sensation or effect. Sharp as an adverb precisely (used after an expression of time). in a sudden or abrupt way.

When I use the word sharp generally I apply it to describe physical sense like. She looked sharp in that outfit. Or Her tone was sharp. I need to trim Macavity’s claws, they are wicked sharp. Macavity gave me a sharp reminder with the piercing sensation and blood spewing that he runs this house. All work for me because sharp indicates an edge. (Macavity wasn’t very happy with my clipping his nails.)

Yet, when I think of sharp with a wider view…. an artist I really enjoy and miss Kevin Sharpe comes to mind especially because one of his songs I feel has an painful point or edge to it. Nobody Knows it but Me.

Kevin Grant Sharp (December 10, 1970 – April 19, 2014) was an American country music singer, author, and motivational speaker. Sharp came on the country music scene in 1996 with his first single ” Nobody Knows , which topped the Billboard country chart for four weeks. The same year, Sharp released his first album, Measure of a Man.

Having survived a rare form of bone cancer in his teenage years, Sharp became actively involved in the Make a Wish Foundation. He wrote an inspirational book about his life and his fight with cancer, and occasionally toured the United States as a motivational speaker. One could say his speaking skills were sharp. ( he cut right to the heart of the matter) Unfortunately, that cancer returned and stole him away.

“The pain is real even if nobody knows it but me.”~ Sharpe’s song is about a lost relationship but for me it’s a a dang reminder about all the lost time we didn’t have …my grandson, Johnny and I. So much time lost. All the missed football games, wrestling matches because we lived so far away. And now it’s too late.

I love you Johnny so much. I miss you. Yet, it’s hard to express how I feel with the family because my loss is nothing like the pain your parents are experiencing. I ask them how they’re doing and try to be supportive. But sadly, that’s not a two way street.

We’re your grandparents, we loved you too and we lost you too! That pain is just as sharp for us even 14 months later. I’m grateful because good friends ask how we’re doing.

Grief and family both are like dual edged swords because with one wrong comment they’ll pierce deeply. If I Die Young was played at his service. The lines in the song “The sharp knife of a short life” and “funny when you’re dead how people start listenin'” really hit me so f-ing hard. They drive the guilt of not being with him more and sorrow of his death even deeper.

“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” ― Elbert Hubbard

But the pain has also become a driving force for me I can’t miss anymore of my granddaughter’s life because I live so damn far away. This house is too expensive and the move has to happen. Our location comes down to what I really need and for me that is spending as much time as possible with Olyvia.