Time Out

Hard to believe that four months slipped by since I’ve blogged here. Frustrated and stressed after falling back in October I really didn’t have much I wanted to talk about. Trying to get everything done in the house so it can go on the market meant not decorating for the holidays. That stressed me more than I wanted to admit. I’m 64 and this was the first time in my life there wasn’t a tree in my home.

It’s been almost a year since the cancer scare. Nothing new has surfaced since they did the scope in August. The bloodwork was fine, my liver numbers dropped to almost normal levels. Since the gall bladder surgery, there are still lots of foods that trigger discomfort. The Omeprazole has become a staple in my life now. There are some foods that I refuse to eliminate from my diet. Yeah, I know glutton for punishment.

I’ve been painting the trim and touching up the walls that needed it. It looks so much better now. I hope the new owners appreciate all the effort. Even if they don’t, it’s just part of my nature. I can’t leave the house half done, I see it as a reflection of me. In good conscience I know we will be leaving this home in better condition than when we moved into it back in 2004.

The previous owner swapped out appliances after we purchased the house so there were older appliances here instead of the ones we originally saw. Vic actually came to the house after signing and the man that worked for the owner was taking bookcases out of the house. Sleezeball.

I know in previous blog entries I talked about my fur babies. Macavity is doing well but Yeatsie is not. He’s lost a lot of weight, is disoriented most of the time. He cries out and acts fearful as if he doesn’t recognize us. It’s heartbreaking seeing him standing there trembling not sure what to do next.

Yes, cats do get Alzheimer’s or dementia. He sleeps so much more than he did. His 17th birthday is in May. I don’t know where the time went because it seems like only yesterday I was bottle feeding him. He went on the bus with me, he went to my college classes with me. He bravely puffed up his little body when strangers approached our car when we were lost in the Bronx.

The decision is weighing heavily on me. Vic said he would support whatever decision I make. I’m questioning what his quality of life really is right now. Our vet likes to push drugs and that’s not quality of life when your 17 years old or 84 in human years. I love my cats dearly but that doesn’t give me the right to hang onto to them at all costs.

I know with Quasi, he had thyroid issues and we battled every day with him to get his medication into him. He didn’t cooperate at all and in the end it didn’t matter because he ended up dying. He weighed only 4 lbs when he died. He looked horrific.

Yeatsie right now weighs 8 lbs, you can see his protruding back bone and part of his ribcage. I keep coaxing him to eat and drink but he resists. It’s a daily battle between us right now.

I’m sure there are people that disagree with my thoughts about extending a cats life but I’m not really asking for advice. I know if I didn’t recognize my home or family than I would want the option of assisted suicide versus being trapped in a body afraid of everything around me. Humans can vocalize their feelings and hopefully live where it is legal whereas our pets depend on us to do the right thing.

I’ve crocheted a lot while I wasn’t writing. I’ll post pictures in the next blog entry.

Anyway, this is where my head is.

3 thoughts on “Time Out

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