We all have things that get to us, whether it be happy feelings or sad feelings?  Please Join me in this blogging  prompt to discuss a  food that triggers your emotions.  If you wish to take part, link to my corresponding post with a pingback and tag your post Emotional Triggers Prompt

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When I was a child, I believed Santa made M&M cookies because when I rose on Christmas morning our Douglas fir tree was covered with cookies hanging by red ribbons. It was a sight to behold so many red and green M&M cookies. My mouth watered in anticipation of all those cookies waiting just for me. Santa made Christmas magical with cookies everywhere.

What I didn’t know was all year long my grandparents would carefully sort the candy leaving only the brown, yellow and orange ones. I never noticed, I’m not even sure I actually knew the red and green were missing. It was just exciting having candy after dinner on the porch listening to my grandmother read out loud. This was before the M&M bags came in holiday colors. Now its so easy to have specific colors.

I looked forward to the cookie covered tree even after Santa’s mystery was revealed.  To me the tree covered with M&M cookies was magical. Her homemade cookies were better than any gift under the tree.

As an adult, I so wanted my children to have those same magical moments on Christmas morning as I did. I collected the reds and greens just like they had done all those prior years. I quickly discovered how challenging it is to keep the holes as they baked. Thank goodness Grandma shared her secret of using pieces of pipe cleaners to keep the opening and then you gently slid it out and then used a needle to thread the ribbon through. I still broke lots of cookies in my attempts. I used to get so frustrated I would cry. Why couldn’t I do it? She always did.

Working full time and raising three children didn’t allow for much time and trying to create the magic became more of a dreaded task than it was worth.  I felt like I was failing as a parent but even worse that I was failing my grandparents. After a few years, I decided to stop torturing myself. I needed to make new memories with my children. I still bake M&M cookies every year but I don’t try to hang them on the tree. I always lay one cookie for my grandparents on a tree branch as a tribute to all they did to make my childhood magical at Christmas. They were incredible people and I miss them so much.

For me, Christmas hasn’t been the same since. I always feel let down feeling looking at the tree without the magical cookies.

“Cookies are the sweetest comfort food. They are bite-sized and personal” ~Sandra Lee,