Today’s word is “excuse.”
Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.
Excuse is defined as an attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify. Or a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.
I’m not going to offer either one. I’m not the easiest person to live with. I’m inherently stubborn and opinionated. For neither will I make an excuse. I’m who I am no more … no less. But I do have feelings.
In a conversation this afternoon, about a situation we have going on and I said jokingly to another friend that I would be the disrupter on our mutual friend’s team because he’s a manager after our email exchanges. Of what doesn’t really matter. I just know we don’t talk the same language outside of our love of writing. Anyway, the response back was, you would never be on his team. I agreed initially because the two men do seem to talk a language I don’t.
But as I mulled the conversation later, yeah, yeah,… we’re all guilty of mulling things afterward. His laize-faire comment hurt. No, I don’t function in the business arena but I have skills that neither of them are even aware nor has it been necessary to demonstrate my hidden talents anymore than I’ve asked either of them to demonstrate theirs. Here I go making a fucking excuse when I didn’t intend too.
Our connection is foremost writing and occasionally drinking together. We’re friends. And some times unintentional things are said that are upsetting. What he said did hurt. I’m also aware it wasn’t said to be hurtful either.
Truth be known….I truly wouldn’t have wanted to be on their team either in the business world. There’s way too much testosterone and we would have butt heads all the time.
My inner voice is right, if I had been crazy enough to seek working for him… I wouldn’t have been there long. I’m a damn independent thinker, and my days of worker bee mentality is gone.
But looking at the bigger picture, I’m also the person holding our group together. That’s the reality. I keep the dots connected. I’m very aware of their roles in the background and equally aware of my role in the foreground. My contributions aren’t light. Unfortunately, this covid crap has definitely impacted the group dynamics. I totally get how challenging it is to be online one in one more zoom meeting. I don’t do as many as them but I certainly spend a lot of time online with the different groups. It’s a matter of making a choice. It’s apparent to me the choice was made.
Today I’m reminded again of one of my favorite quotes “familiarity breeds contempt.” Did you know the English writer Geoffrey Chaucer was the first to use this expression back in 1300’s. It appeared in the Tale of Melibee.
It wasn’t my intent to turn this post into a rant either. I’m kicking the negativity to the curb.