letter c day 79

We did the early run to Cherry Hill to get the covid swab. I was told it was going to be a nasal swab but when I got there it was a throat swab instead. So when I got back home I decided to look up the CDC recommendations for the swabs. The most accurate is the nasal but throat swabs are acceptable but do have a higher margin of error. So do we know what we need to know or don’t we.

The process was like going to a drive up except you didn’t go to a window. Cars were directed into a curved driveway a nurse came out wearing a hazmat suit and a container with my name and two swabs. She verified the information, asked me to raise my mask to uncover my mouth slightly and to lean back a little. The swab inspired a gag reaction that was close to a vomit moment. I coughed and choked into my mask. I wished I had brought water with me to get that dry sensation off the back of my throat.

Bonus, dunkin donuts was .4 tenths of a mile away so I got a cup of coffee and a vanilla creme donut. So my day definitely improved but now the waiting game. Wednesday, I will get the call whether I’m clear for the procedures on Thursday.

Crocheting and Short Story Critiquing:

I’m taking a brief break from my rose sweater to crochet one of the writers in our group a baby blanket. She’s having a boy. I worked on it last night while we discussed Division by Zero” (5600 words) by Ted Chiang, whose novella “Story of Your Life” was the basis for the movie Arrival.   Our protagonist fell out of love with math at the same time her husband realized he didn’t love her anymore. It was an unusual approach to relationships and how one can be oblivious to the signs because we’re so wrapped in our worlds. Our protagonist is so involved in mathematics that she has lost sight of the importance of balance professionally and personally. Her husband had a lot in common with her but had discovered what he was lacking in his life and that she wasn’t the one to fulfill that need.

It’s fun to dissect a story together because it gives us practice in critiquing without hurting anyone’s feelings because the author isn’t there. I had to read and re-read this story to really understand it. I found the math references a bit over the top and distracting though I do realize the math messages helped identify him and her. Each time I read it I discovered different levels of the character’s personalities.

Cancer toolkit:

I’ve been slack in sharing the last few days. My humblest apologies.

Rosemary is a digestive aid as well as being anti-inflammatory. Bet you didn’t know it increases blood flow to the brain.

Saffron is also a digestive and anti-inflammatory.

Sage, there’s more to this herb than burning it to cleanse one’s space. It’s anti-tumor. It’s part of the mint family and mimics rosemary in its medicinal purposes. There’s a study going on with its oil for skin cancer lesions. So for me personally, I have a lot drying right now so I can cleanse our next home before moving in.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5133115/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3996758/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4003706/

This song has been playing over and over in my head as I go through things in our home. So many questions, so many unanswered ones yet.   “Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)” is a song written by Michael Masser and Gerry Goffin. It was initially recorded by American singer Thelma Houston in 1973, and then by Diana Ross as the theme to the 1975 Motown/Paramount film Mahogany.”- wikipeida.  It’s funny, I remember when I first heard this song forty-seven years I had a ton of questions then too!

 

Do You Know
Where you’re going to?
Do you like the things?
That life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
Do you get?
What you’re hoping for?
When you look behind you
There’s no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?
Once we were standing still, in time
Chasing the fantasies and feeling all nice
You knew how I loved you, but my-spirit was free
Laughing at the questions
That you once asked of me
Now looking back at all we’ve had
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long, before we see?
How sad the answers to those questions can be
Do you get?
What you’re hoping for
When you look behind you
There’s no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?
Fade Out
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Gerry Goffin / Michael Masser
Do You Know Where You’re Going To (Theme from “Mahogany”) lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, Downtown Music Publishing

letter c day 78

A lot has been on my mind all the things, coming in every direction and it dawned on me.  Feelings are supposed to be tender because once they’ve become hard, they aren’t feeling anymore. I thought it was simply indifference driving me but it’s not.  I’ve shut myself down, again. Self preservation has value.  The week ahead is going to take all of my energy.

I’m choosing to focus on what’s important right now to keep my head in the right place. Then, I’ll begin the next steps of our journey. I ‘m actually emotionally ready for the move. There’s so many things for out there for Vic and I to enjoy.  I miss seeing him laugh. He’s stressed all the time. Reality is this house is sucking the life out of us. But trying to be the iron woman right now I can’t do, I know it’s gotten me through every other time but this time I’ve chosen a slightly different approach.

I’ve gone in every room and made a list of what’s going on Craig’s list and what will be included in the move. Organization I believe will make it easier in the bigger picture for us while we handle the letter-c.

It’s sad how many places are not accepting donations because of Covid 19.  Clothing doesn’t hold germs as long as hard surfaces so I don’t get why there refusing. Just when I was resigned to tossing good clothing into the trash, a card arrived in the mail from the Veteran’s. The clothing now has a new destination.

I was thinking about my song and I’m going back to my first song since I started documenting this letter-c. Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. There’s a distant ship on our horizon,one I believe with all my heart is the right thing even though I know there are aspects that aren’t perfect.  But then what is perfect?

 

If life was perfect than Johnny, Logan and Sammy would be here and not in heaven. Grandchildren aren’t supposed to die before their grandparents. There is nothing more devastating for a parent or a grandparent than losing a child. The pain and grief are indescribable, often leaving families shattered, in shock, and unable to process all the emotions that come with such a tragic event.

I remember when I lost my own baby a good friend said to me. She didn’t remember who said it. I looked it online and google said unknown. It doesn’t matter what matters is those precious babies aren’t here.

“An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth. Then whispered as she closed the book ‘too beautiful for earth”.    ~ unknown

There is no footprint too small to leave an imprint on this world.   ~ unknown

 

#FDDA 8 day 77

Fandango’s Dog Days of August #8

Today’s theme is “something or someone you admire.” What or who is it? Why do you admire that thing or person? Do you admire that thing or person from a distance, or is that thing in your possession or that person close to you? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to about something or someone you admire.

Someone I admire is my husband very much. He’s my rock. He’s also my best friend. He encourages me to try even when I don’t feel I can do it.

I remember 20 years how discouraged I was about writing. My husband at the time was constantly diminishing everything that mattered to me. He wrote his name on my writing, my books, it didn’t matter what it was if he could put his name on it he did. So when I started writing on the internet in writing groups it wasn’t accessible to him. That’s how I met Vic, he encouraged my writing. He offered to help me without criticizing me or making me feel stupid.  He offered suggestions for refresher grammar classes and books that would help. Our love of writing led to a great friendship and eventually our marriage twelve years ago.

I admire all the writers, poet, musicians that make words magical on the page so we’re inspired to create our own magic.

Some things I admire are gardens, trees, streams, lakes, waterfalls, the ocean. I love how each of them give us a haven when we need.

What I don’t admire are yellow jackets. Although I will give them credit for tenacity. I went out to water my roses this evening and was surprised to see yellow jackets still buzzing around. I waited until dark and went back to spray again with Ortho but one of the yellow jackets decided to sting me and to fall inside my shirt. The burning sensation on my neck was tolerable but the creepy feel of little legs on my skin made me squirm which led to more stings before I killed it. Tomorrow I will send Vic out for more Ortho from Home Depot. I am determined to get my front flower bed back from the yellow jackets. War is declared.

Vic suggested I get out of the house today but I didn’t want to. I need to be safe more than ever right now so nothing hinders the tests next week. So I compromised, I took Macavity with me down in the lower garden. Except Macavity had other things in mind. He showed me what he thought of the new harness we got him. He slipped his body right out of it. I swear that cat has the body of a mouse. He made getting out of the harness look so easy. Then he ambled up on the fence and my heart skipped.

I called his name and he looked down to the ground outside the yard. I thought for sure he was going to bolt for an adventure but instead he jumped down into the yard and walked up the steps on the deck and sat in front of the door. Phew.

The last time he went for an adventure, he ended up in a tree and of course couldn’t or wouldn’t get down until I rescued him. I sighed in relief we didn’t have a repeat performance.  My adorable feline hopped up on the counter and waited patiently for me to give him a treat. Yup, I’m trained. I did. He then laid down for his afternoon nap. I admire his spunk. He walks his own path. Both of my cats do.

Anyway, who needs to go out for stimulation when you have fur babies.

My song choice for today is for all the things in life worth admiring.

 

#FDDA 7 letter-c day 76

https://fivedotoh.com/category/dog-days-of-august/

Today’s theme is “something you found.” What did you find? Where did you find it? What did you (or are you going to) do with it? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to about something you found.

“Life is a long preparation for something that never happens.” ― W.B. Yeats

I’m thinking this isn’t what you had in mind with the prompt but it is something I found. Cancer is an intimidating disease and often with that diagnosis you discover more than you bargain for with all the chaos. People you really thought were your friends kinda disappear or suddenly have less availability to talk or worse blow you off completely. If you haven’t had cancer this probably doesn’t make a lot of sense so I’ll try to explain. It’s so important to have an inner circle, people who will be supportive whether it be emotionally or physically. Its not a daily obligation just knowing they’re there.

What I found out people are quick to respond but than over time disappear. It hurts but its not the end of the world because interestingly people you didn’t expect step up. It is, what it is.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope

What am I going to do with this new knowledge, I don’t know if its new knowledge or just the nature of people but it’s so important to live in the moment and not take things for granted nor expect things of people. Some have the maturity to handle it and some don’t. I learned that lesson too recently, a person who I really thought wasn’t mature enough to be helpful actually has surprised me.

The most important thing I found was that I need to be true to myself, all the other parts will fall where they may. With that I mind I remembered a poem I wrote about what makes me, me.  That’s something else I found… I like me.

A-Z of Lyn Poem

Appetite always enjoy good food and life itself
Brilliant at times, usually in the kitchen
Creative frequently, my inner artist appears
Deliberate who me, I’m an angel
Energetic daily, life is to short not to be
Fiber oh please, I am not that old
Grains a bowl of cheerios, how can you go wrong
Habitual why yes I am, guilty of loving routines
Involved in too many things at one time
Jovial usually, negativity does not suit me
Kinky I have my moments ask my spouse
Liberal indeed I am, I am very open minded.
Mom, to four wonderful children and seven awesome grandchildren
Nice that’s been said a time or two
Optimistic more often than not that would be the Irish in me
Pessimistic seldom, and If I am a good Irish whiskey will cure it
Quilter with a serious fabric stash
Reads avidly particularly history and biographies
Silent type not hardly, I am definitely opinionated
Typical never, I’m an Irish lass
Unique very so I am told
Vindictive no, in the long run it is not worth it
Wicked yes I am a Mainer
Xi fourteenth letter in Greek alphabet
Yes I play scrabble, actually very lucky at it
Zealous, I am indeed devoted to my family and friends.©

But I can get what I need….

By being my best advocate. I can do this. I am a fierce warrior woman … soon Cancer will be the one finding out.

 

 

Letter c day 75

So this day has just officially gone to crap. I reached over in the flower garden to straighten the decorative flag pole the wind had blown over. That got my left ear, head, a couple places on my neck and arm stung by yellow jackets. Arm, neck and head hurt but the ear is ridiculously painful. Meat tenderizer did help some once Vic was able to find it. Wegmans no, Target no, ShopRite yes. I’ve iced my ear several times thus far and taken the benadryl as advised by my daughter-in-law and Dr. Lee. Bee stings are so much easier in places that have some fat involved, my little ears don’t. 😞

Tonight those nasty creatures are going to regret stinging me.😞Game on!

Why are grocery stores so f-ing behind on stocking their shelves? Wegmans has epically failed on so many levels since COVID 19. They seem to be able to restock their product but not the competitors for one, two the amount of vacant shelves compared to other stores is not acceptable. For the life of me why are spices, teas, and condiments like ketchup and mustard so difficult to replace. I have never been one to go to multiple grocery stores but since this crap has unfolded it’s becoming the new norm.

The dirty deed is done with minor setback one of the yellow jackets stung Vic while I was spraying in between the patio pavers where I had seen them earlier going in and out.

************************************************************************************

I told you yesterday about my appointments getting changed. Annoying but not impossible.  It feels more like a Tzu moment especially since there is forward movement.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”― Lao Tzu

The wall reminds me of Pink Floyds, Another Brick in the Wall. I had a teacher like that back in high school that mocked my early poems. She didn’t succeed I still love poetry. I write poems almost everyday. Mrs. Davis should have listened to Nelson Mandela and encouraged me to write instead of embarrassing me because her droning was so boring I escaped into poetry.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
― Nelson Mandela

This is one of my favorites about the lake I lived near at my old home. I have so many positive memories of that lake. My children and I went there from the time they were born until they each had left home.

I used to go there after I finished the night shift when I worked stocking shelves and swim alone before going home. Once the weather got to cool to swim I would simply sit there with my coffee I had grabbed at Dunkin when they were still 24 hours and contemplate my future. That lake was my haven.

 

At The Lake’s Edge©
The long rocky shoreline had rough water tonight
this breezy spring twilight in April.
I came to watch the evening sun set on the water.
I heard the loons crooning to their mates.
My tranquility was disrupted by a child’s screech and
two young people paddling hard in a canoe.
An elderly man fished on the opposite shore while
a woman read a book in her chair on the dock.
I shivered as the waves swished against the beach
and the cold spray hit my leg as I sat on the rock.
I struggled to regroup my thoughts, to close this day
The peace in my world was jeopardized so
I sought the calm of my beautiful beach haven.
I ached to find my composure once more
As I immersed myself in the beauty at the lake’s edge.
My mind rambled to the times when I brought my children
to swim and play in the chilling water in the summer’s heat.
Those moonlit nights on my way home from work when I swam
successfully working out stress in my own way.
I committed to memory the reasons why I must pick me up once more,
I need another sunrise, to gaze at another sunset on the lake’s edge.
The troubled emotions, I felt when I arrived have dissipated because
the lake’s rippled water refreshed my essence.
I heard the soft call of a loon, the woeful song was
a gentle reminder of my lover who waits for me
Good night, my lakeside haven!
Thank you for giving me sanctuary,
I am okay now because of you.
*************************************************************************************
The one I wrote today I tossed into the Virtual Blogging Adventure I’m hosting on WDC and sharing here. It’s now in both places.
My Grandpa said I would want to stay
once I commit to Katherine’s way
Nope, I have things to do
He handed me a chew
and shook my hand, you’ll be back someday©
a limerick about Katherine Australia
******************************************************************************

 

For some frigging reason every time I go to cut and paste the link into my blog Wind of Change by Scorpion appears instead even though I cut and paste the right one.

I’m too tired and uncomfortable to keep frigging around with this tonight. It’s easy enough to google.  My ear is throbbing intensely. Apparently wordpress has a lot of quirks not worked out as Marilyn Armstrong pointed out.

Tomorrow’s a new day and hopefully a less painful one.

 

 

 

#FDDA, letter-c day 74

Today’s theme is “inheritance.” Have you ever inherited something? Money? Your good looks? An item or items of value? Do you plan to leave an inheritance for your children or anyone else? Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to about an inheritance.

https://fivedotoh.com/category/dog-days-of-august/

I was told I inherited my grandmother’s good looks. But that’s not what I see in the mirror. I see a sixty-four year old with lots of battle scars but still smiles in spite of all that I’ve endured and what is yet to come with the letter c. So maybe I inherited resilience with my Celtic heritage.

Now some people wouldn’t consider a Christmas cactus priceless but I do. My grandfather gave it to my grandmother in 1940 on their 16th wedding anniversary. My grandmother was relocating to an assisted living situation and didn’t want anything to happen to her plant. I have a natural talent with plants, although I did almost lose her beloved plant, it didn’t like its transformation from well water to bottled water when I moved to New Jersey. in 2007.  It was down two stems and I thought for sure it was a goner. But she survived. Her stems have become more like trees very woody with the lush green more at the tips than allover. She blooms prolifically every spring, she never shows up for Christmas nor does she make it to Easter.

However, here we are in 2020 and she is flourishing but there’s a huge question ahead if something happens to me. None of my children are plant enthusiasts so where does Gramma’s cactus go?  This plant is 80 years old she deserves to be loved and cared for.  I’m hoping one of my grandchildren will show an interest because whomever inherits needs to value the plant, and the memories behind it.DSC_0348

I know whenever I think of about the memories it feels like she hasn’t been with me that long but she came to live with me in 1981. 39 years ago. She’s lived me almost of her life.

Letter c update well I knew better than to get overly hopeful with the covid crap happening. My surgical procedures have been moved from the 11th to the 13th now. My covid test is now the 10th instead of the 8th. So now my schedule is Monday, the 10th covid test, Wednesday the 12th bloodwork, Thursday the 14th,surgical procedures, Friday the 14th primary doctor, Monday,  the 17th neurologist and then my mammogram on the 19th. Can we say WTF?  I dislike going to the doctors intensely so this over the top. But unfortunately, they’re a necessary evil when cancer is involved.

I’ve got a beef  and vegetable soup brewing in the crockpot, it smells divine.

Cancer toolkit:

Raspberries are anti-inflammatory. Researchers at Ohio State found that black raspberries prevent esophageal cancer.

Rice is also anti-inflammatory and is a fantastic fiber source.

https://www.mdanderson.org/publications/focused-on-health/foods-lower-cancerrisk.h29Z1590624.html#:~:text=Most%20berries%20also%20contain%20antioxidants,are

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5008867/

https://www.hindawi.com/journals/bmri/2017/9017902/

https://www.wcrf.org/dietandcancer/exposures/wholegrains-veg-fruit

My song choice for today is because my grandma is on my mind so I’m going with Keep Me in Your Heart by Warren Zevon. My grandma died of brain cancer. Warren died of pleural mesothelioma. 

He and I share something in common we’re not keen on doctors. Unfortunately in his case, the cancer won because he refused all treatment.  I sought medical treatment in addition to being my strongest advocate. I’m not going to lose. I’ve changed my diet and I have remained positive. It’s a team effort and I’m blessed to have a strong support network. I inherited some good Celtic genes too!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Zevon

 

 

 

 

FDDA#3, letter c-day 72

Today’s theme is “Monday.” Share a story, a poem, a photo, a drawing, some music, or whatever you wish to about your Monday. What do Mondays mean to you. Do you hate Mondays? Love them? Do you not care, one way or the other, about Mondays? It’s up to you. #FDDA or Fandango’s Dog Days of August.

https://fivedotoh.com/category/dog-days-of-august/

I’ve never been a fan of Monday especially when I was working outside the home. I had lots of nicknames for the day Mundane Monday, Maniac Monday, Moving Monday, Make Me Monday…sometimes even Musical Monday or Magical Monday all of them were the result of my weekend whether I hoped it wouldn’t end, or there were just too much or too little to make me want to participate. I know its all about attitude but when you’re young and naive you don’t see yourself as having attitudes and after awhile all those Motivational Monday quotes run together.

In this stage of the game Monday is just another day, they tend to run all together now especially with COVID and being retired. They’ve simply become Montage Monday.

I’ve chosen to share a Dr. Suess style acrostic poem I wrote called Nonsense. I enjoy writing acrostics because they force your brain to think outside the box and tell a story differently in a poem. Acrostic Poetry is where the first letter of each line spells a word, usually using the same words as in the title. If you read it out loud you’ll hear the Dr. Suess’s voice creep in.

Nonsense©

Nickel Jefferson jumps up
Only the FDR dime lies flat
No, no we count, count
Says, says who, who
Everybody at the bank
Nay says Washington quarter
Smiling Kennedy flips up
Every Lincoln copper penny!

What is happening today for me. I’m mulling over lots of things like what I want to sell to reduce the clutter before our move. A lifetime of stuff, guilty as charged because when I left my old house I didn’t downsize very much I simply took it with me which unfortunately is now biting me in the butt as I look around. We combined two households into one and now it’s got to go to reduce the cost of move. So another m word comes into play must go or sell.

Thinking of another m word, memory. Back when I was married to my first husband we didn’t have a lot of money for furniture. So we had bought two Adirondack chairs that we sat in at night outside in the yard because we didn’t own a television so our entertainment was cribbage around a fire in the yard. If it was rainy, we’d sit at the kitchen table. Once the nights started getting cooler we lugged our chairs inside for the winter. They became our living room furniture. You make the best of what you have. I remember how excited we were when we bought our 19 inch black and white television the chairs ended up being inside more than out. We ended up getting inside and out Adirondack chairs because they cost a lot less than a living set. We saved up and bought the living set, we eventually owned for 20 years.

Which reminds me of a song from those old days by William DeVaughn, Be Thankful for What You Got. I’ve come a long way from those days but reality is certainly reminding me that Gratitude will only get me so far. I’ve got to get rid of these material excesses and move on. Will I really re-read all of these books? Stop mulling girl and Make it Happen.

Culinary addition should be meatloaf Monday to stay with the m theme but I’m craving Mexican so I’m going with enchiladas… I have lots of freshly picked banana peppers to add some heat. Mexican Monday, yummy!

Garden:

I picked a colander full of tomatoes and peppers so the tropical storm doesn’t damage them. I was pleasantly surprised to find cucumbers ready to pick so I grabbed them too.

Cancer toolkit additions today:

Quinoa is anti-inflammatory.

Radishes are also anti-inflammatory and improve digestion but did you know the sulfur goes right to the liver and gall bladder increasing the flow of bile to aid in detoxifying treatments.  I’m all for getting toxic crap out.

Quinoa

https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/the-benefits-of-radishes#:~:text=Eating%20cruciferous%20vegetables%20like%20radishes,substances%20and%20preve

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon

In my virtual travel blog on WDC, we’re now in Sydney Australia. I’ll be posting that in a separate entry.

Guess my Monday isn’t as mundane as I originally thought when I set down to write this post. I didn’t dwell on the letter c or let the rescheduling of my primary care doctor’s appointment become the focus of this entry.  Life is what it is. Magical ❤

“Once cancer happens it changes the way you live for the rest of your life.” – Hayley Mills

 

letter c day 70

This quote so fits this letter-c journey. “Difficulties are just things to overcome, after all.”― Ernest Shackleton I couldn’t agree more.  The letter-c  doesn’t define me, it doesn’t control me nor will it ever be the end of me. Positive outlooks are key for any health battle. “Superhuman effort isn’t worth a damn unless it achieves results.”― Ernest Shackleton

On that note, I’m going to take you to my song choice for the day by Pink, A Million Dreams.  I think all the time about all the dreams I haven’t accomplished yet. I look at all the things I’ve collected a long the way but there’s still those missing elusive ones I want. Letter-c won’t deter me.

Writing has always felt elusive to me because I was guilty of looking at myself through the eyes of others, judging instead of appreciating every word I did put on the page in spite of the situation. Many of you aren’t aware of  the darker times of my life, the demon aka my first husband, who took great pleasure in undermining me. He wrote his name on everything I wrote. When I’ve told people that, they looked at me like I have three heads but then when I hand them my journals they hang their heads because they had no idea what kind of man he was.  It took a lot for my muse to gain the confidence to break free of the toxin. Now, when I look at these journals, I see documented proof I wasn’t diminished by his actions instead I became stronger.

 

 

I put the words on the page. They’re not perfect but they’re mine. I said to a good friend, “Art isn’t clean… if it is then you have a blank canvas, you haven’t painted yet.”~ Lyn Crain. Occasionally, I have gems.  Or in my case, my pages aren’t written yet. I know how destructive that self-critic is, but thankfully the letter-c has given me a nudge. Writing the vignettes isn’t always fun but then I’m reminded of Hunter S. Thompson’s quote, “writing is the most hateful kind of work, I suspect it’s a bit like fucking, which is only fun for amateurs. Old whores don’t do much giggling.”

I didn’t understand love when I  first began writing poetry but I knew it offered me a means to express my fears, my dreams even my anger. This one is from 2003 when I was feeling conflicted about the direction life was unfolding.

Love denied me,

 offering instead sharp and bloody thorns

hidden behind fragile blooms.

 Its flattery prose was spoken softer

than a petal’s caress teasing

my smoldering heart to waken

before dousing it with

despair.©

I’ve never chosen a name for it. There are times when I simply think Reality Check works as the title but the less skeptical me knows love exists but at that time I didn’t believe it was possible.

 

letter c day 69

My snarky humor can’t let the number slide by without some comment.

There were a number of particularly delightful incidents. There is, for example, the physicist who introduced me to one of my favorite laws, which he described as Murphy’s law or the fourth law of thermodynamics (actually there were only three last I heard) which states: If anything can go wrong it will.— Anne Roe 

I bet you were expecting a kinky quote or some story recalling an experience. If you’re an adult you got your stories to recall, you don’t need my help.

I asked in the Blogging Award the question about a color to describe one’s self. I would describe myself with blue. Not your bold electric blue but like the ocean. For example, dark blue can be seen as elegant, rich, sophisticated, intelligent, and old-fashioned, whereas royal blue can represent superiority which is something I never see myself as, and light blue can mean honesty and trustworthiness which I do pride myself on being. Typically, when I think of blue I feel inspired, intuitive, happy, and confident.

Our fellow blogger  https://sandmanjazz.wordpress.com/2020/07/31/outstanding-blogger-nomination/  chose green. Yes, I can see him as growing, expanding. and nurturing just by why what I have read in his blog entries thus far.

I’ve been enjoying the interaction with other bloggers here on wordpress. I look forward to reading the different posts. I never know what’s going to be there.

Culinary:

Tonight we’re having Atlantic Salmon, with mashed cauliflower and a side salad. I can’t wait to enjoy more of the tomatoes I picked from the garden, they were so good with our blt’s last night. Yeah, I decided to toss the bacon on the grill, pick some swiss chard in lieu of lettuce and to use the tomatoes that were ripe. So technically we had bsct’s on wheat. So good! Better yet, we split the night on cribbage, I won the first one and he won the second.

For your cancer toolkit:

Oranges are anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial. They’re especially helpful against throat,mouth and stomach cancer.

Oregano is a digestive aid, anti-inflammatory and antibacterial. Oregano helps our taxed immune systems recover.

Updated on the Fur Babies:

Both cats chowed down their treats last night and devoured their breakfast. So whether it was something in the wet food that set them off I don’t know for sure but they’re definitely full of piss and vinegar today, especially Macavity. He’s been batting his bouncy ball around the dining room for a while now.

Song Choice:

My song choice today is by Scorpions, Wind of Change. My thoughts went with how different things are now.  Probably, didn’t help I just got off the phone with my doctor’s office reviewing my medical and what medications I can’t take prior to the procedures like my migraine med Diclofenac which is used to relieve pain, and swelling.  This medication is known as a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID), so that’s a big no-nobefore surgery.

Between the phone call and what is expected of me and then seeing the children on our street playing wearing masks. I thought how  their world is so different than mine or my children’s. Will they ever remember the magic in the moments when their my age or will this virus shroud all the joy of being a child. I know my eight year old granddaughter hates the mask.

“But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.”
― Albert Camus

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Who knew this virus would make us question so many aspects of our lives? I know I didn’t expect to have think about my daily interactions before this anymore than you did.

“Wind of Change” is a power ballad by the West German rock band Scorpions, recorded for their eleventh studio album, Crazy World (1990). The song was composed and written by the band’s lead singer Klaus Meine and produced by Keith Olsen and the band.

“I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the wind of change
The world is closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close, like brothers
The future’s in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away (dream away)
In the wind of change
Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever
I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams (share their dreams)
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night…”

 

 

 

Letter c day 68

What began as a mediocre day turned into a very happy one instead.  Thank you Ingrid. Sometimes,  we forget how much a simple act of kindness can make in someone’s day.

Cats:

I’m not sure what’s going on with our fur babies but both vomited today. I don’t know if there was something in their wet food that upset their tummies. I know cats frequently upchuck hair balls but this was simply food from both of them. I tossed the food down the garbage disposal but then later I wondered if I should have hung onto it just in case we needed to transport them to the vet. Hopefully, they will both be fine in the morning.

I was wondering what everyone’s reading. I’m reading Roald Dahl’s Switch Bitch, four adult short stories. Dahl has a notorious hedonist character named Uncle Oswald, in The Visitor and the Bitch. The other two stories are the Great Switcheroo and the Last Act which explores the darker side of desire and pleasure.I’m enjoying Uncle Oswald, he’s quite the character.

I’m exploring different short story presentations to help me find the best way to present my vignettes. I don’t about you but for years I read for enjoyment because poetry was my focus for writing. Now that I’m expanding my writing styles I’m dissecting everything I read so I can improve my writing. I’ve heard at conferences that imitation is the best flattery, and if we find a style that really fits our work go for it but don’t plagiarize. Duh, but I guess if it’s still being stressed at conferences it must still be happening.

Writing for me is self discovery. We all long to return to those days of innocence. Or at least what we believed it was.

Return To Innocence

Love
Devotion
Feeling
Emotion
Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
The return to innocence
And if you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny
Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence
That’s return to innocence
August is almost here and I’m looking forward to it. Closer to the next tests and my 64th birthday. Yes, I’m a Virgo. We’re notably impatient among other traits.
Dear Johnny,
I had coffee today in the mug you gave me for my birthday. I miss you so much.
They had the memorial football game and Jacob scored a touchdown. I wish we had been there with your Mom and Dad to see his face.
Love, Gramma