Quote:

“We can’t restructure society without restructuring the English language.”

~Ursula K. Le Guin.

I’m not sure either are possible. I haven’t read yet any solid advice on this point but I’m glad the revolution is happening. Writer’s unite.

Cribbage and Breakfast:

I remember the first time I ever played cribbage was forty three years ago. My good friend, Kenny taught me how to play. In the beginning, he went easy on me but then upped the ante by taking the points I missed when counting. It didn’t take me long to get better at counting my points. We shared many cups of coffee while playing cribbage over the years.

I enjoyed playing cribbage so much I couldn’t wait to teach Vic how to play when we began dating. I went easy on him too, although I’ve been tempted to take the points he misses from time to time.  I look forward to playing cribbage with Vic everyday while we enjoy breakfast. My favorite breakfast is coffee, fruit,  a toasted English muffin and yogurt.  The time we share together sets the pace for our day with a bit of fun. Marriages need consistency in my opinion especially in this ever changing chaos.

Crochet, pink, and Johnny:

I’m happy with my color choice of rose and magenta. The cluster crochet looks really nice in the cotton yarn.

Although in this picture against my burgundy jeans everything looks purple. I chose these shades of pink because of my grandson Johnny. His favorite color was pink. I’ve been trying to add more pink into my wardrobe to feel closer. I put pink on my healing shawl that I shared earlier,and I made a baby pink infinity scarf and a matching hat. Pink I typically avoided because as a child I was always made to wear it along with my three sisters. I hated being dressed alike and in pink. I was surprised when Johnny said he loved pink. He even got his mom to die his hair pink. His father wasn’t thrilled with his pink hair at the time. I know we would give anything to see him walk into the room wearing pink. 

It’s been a heart wrenching 363 days since you left us. In my email today, there was a reminder from Legacy to add something for the family. It was like I was stabbed. Also another reminder that Facebook will be flooded with memories of you too!

October 15, 2005- July 1, 2019

Cancer:

I was inspired this morning by a window image to write a poem in my melancholy mood. Its posted here. Today’s menu has lots of cancer fighting veggies. Zucchini, Mushrooms, Tomatoes, Scallions, Basil, and Oregano. Yummy!

Speaking of culinary let’s continue with our cancer fighting toolkit.

Asparagus is anti-inflammatory with phytochemicals that mimic cox-2 inhibitors. As you probably already know it’s loaded with Vitamin A and K and folic acid. Each of these are strong allies in the defense of cancer.

Avocados are anti-inflammatory, too. Avocados monounsaturated fats and Vitamin E are believed to combat prostrate cancer growth. But there’s an added bonus, the glutathione which is a combination of amino acids removes cancer promoting carcinogens from healthy cells.

Bananas are great as a digestive aid in addition to balancing electrolytes. Bananas have high potassium which our bodies need. Bananas like apples are full of stomach soothing pectin and their fiber cleans the toxins that sneak into our intestinal tract and help with bowel function.

If you’re having a difficult day Lavender is great for anxiety. It can also be use as antiseptic, diuretic, reduces gas and as a sedative. I discuss it more later on. I’m going to relax with my lavender candle and music.

Song of the Day:

Speaking of music I’m going with Little Anthonys Hurts So Bad.  The lyrics were about a guy and girl relationship but some of the lines just feel perfect, they say what I’m feeling inside without you. I

Did I ever tell you about the first time I danced to this song was in 6th grade? It was an awkward experience in gym class. Our gym teacher was teaching us how to dance. 24 students except we had more girls than boys. I danced with a girl, both of us were uncomfortable being paired together and we both had two left feet. Added bonus, we didn’t like each other at all which is why I’m sure the gym teacher put us together.  I stepped on her toes more than she did mine. Gramma still has two left feet.

I heard the chimes late last night or early morning when I had laid back down. Were you visiting Johnny?  I would like to believe it was you. It’s almost been a year since you died. Your parents are still struggling. I thought your Dad was doing better than your Mom but I’m not sure anymore. He’s drinking again and been sarcastic now a couple times to me. I don’t know if its because we’re closer to your one year anniversary or it’s because I have cancer. It’s always been a challenge to understand your Dad.

I had the MRI yesterday, it was uncomfortable and noisy. I hate having anything close to my face. This tube was narrower than some I’ve been inside. Lucky me, they had issues with the music set-up so I got to hear nothing but the rapping of the machine. The headphones didn’t mute the noise enough to stop my migraine from spiking. I puked before I even left their facility. As soon as we got home, I took another pain pill and had a cup of squash soup and a turkey sandwich. Unfortunately,  I ended up with re flux. It was so annoying while trying to participate with my writing group. Thankfully, they couldn’t hear me burping  or see my discomfort until the Prilosec did its thing because we were watching the movie, Invisible Man over Zoom together. The writing and portrayal of the woman’s struggle to free herself from an abusive relationship was excellent. So many of the things she felt hit a chord with me. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do.

By the time I hit the sack, it was sheer exhaustion but I didn’t get to sleep through the night because my body decided it needed to upchuck all the nasty bile.

Thus far this morning, my coffee and a Poptart are staying down. I’m reluctant to eat anything else. Yeah, I am one of them who still loves Poptarts. My grandfather, Jonah , used to tell me that my love of Lucky Charms, Poptarts, Dill Pickles and Cheese would diminish as an adult because out taste buds change. Nope, I still enjoy them. Of my four favorites, cheese is the most challenging right now. Grandpa used to say eating all that cheese is going to bind you up. I have just the opposite because of the dairy, it rapidly goes through me now without the gall bladder. Fried food, fatty foods and dairy products, all require me to be very near a bathroom. Probably more than you wanted to know about a stranger but if you’re battling the letter-c this information is helpful because the meal navigation is important if one wants to have some normalcy in their lives.

It’s partly sunny here today, it’s only 75 degrees. I have some weeding and maybe if needed re -saturate the cotton balls with cinnamon and peppermint oil. Thus far the chipmunks have avoided the plants where I put the cotton balls. Woohoo!  Score 1 for me, 0 for the chipmunk. All the seedlings now that they’re not being dug up look pretty good. I can’t wait to pick cherry tomatoes and cucumbers off the vine.

It’s been years since I crocheted a shirt. I decided to work on that and the mandala in the evening. The shirt is easier to lug around than the mandala is. My nerve block is on Wednesday so it’s a perfect to go project. Busy hands keep me calm.

We’re having fish tacos for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward to dining on the deck with Vic and playing a couple games of cribbage. These temperatures are perfect for outside dining especially when the sun is hitting full stream on the stone siding. Once it gets up into the eighties and nineties, the stone makes it too hot to enjoy dinner on the deck.

Remember, the last time we were together, Johnny, we played cribbage on the hotel bed. You were so excited to beat us both. I can still see your beaming smile when you told your Dad, you won. I miss you hon. I chose Melissa Etheridge because you’re on my mind today.

“I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don’t know how far I’d go
To ease this precious ache
You don’t know how much I’d give

Or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you” ~ Melissa Etheridge